Friends... who? where? when?

It’s exam time again, so as has been my habit I have come up with another useless, thoughtless post.

Are friends really what we think friends are? With the possible exception of a parent-offspring relationship, isn’t it always the case in any relationship when we ask (usually subconsciously), “What’s in it for me?” If we analyze carefully, our closest friends are generally those with whom we have some business (not necessarily monetary) and from whom we can gain something. While I was scathingly sceptical when DD said this a couple of weeks ago, I am beginning to see his point. His opinion was, “You call a person your friend when you have some purpose or business with him/her. There are no friends, just collaborators.” I do not at all agree with what he said but the question still arose in my mind, “How many of all those whom I consider as friends are actually going to stand by me when the need comes? What purpose am I serving them? Only time will tell.” Meanwhile, I shall remain the same, dumb, unexploitative person.

In a way, friendship is a crude form of a savings account. You help out a person so that one day he/she would also help you out when you need it. In fact, in most cases, he/she is obliged to do so unless it is one of those sly foxes who forget you once the job is done.

It is not like it is a bad thing. To have some amount of selfishness, is in my opinion, not wrong at all. When opportunity comes knocking, there are no friends or foes, just competitors. So think about it. Are you a friend or a collaborator?

I would like to end with the thought that the term ‘true friend’ is misplaced. What is a true friend supposed to mean? All those qualities which we expect from a ‘true friend’ should be there in a friend itself, otherwise he/she is not a friend at all.

A fiery V-Day

I spent Valentine’s Day 2009 in the most unique fashion – roaming about coal fields in the Jharia area. We saw coal burning by itself beneath the ground. What a waste of resources. ‘Burning desires of love’ is how a friend described it. The place is high on the list of places where I would never take a girl out for a date, other notable locations on the list being a five-star restaurant (unless she is paying), a lion’s den, and Jupiter. Seriously, the sight was straight out of one of those sci-fi Hollywood movies where the characters land on a deserted alien planet or one of those which show what the Earth would look like after doom’s day.

Smoke was billowing out of the cracks in the ground as if the Earth was having a humongous cigar. And they talk about reducing greenhouse gases. Hell would not look much different. There were abandoned homes all around, what with all the pollution and walls collapsing because of subsidence and mine fires, the place was absolutely inhabitable.

After our return, it took me about an hour to get all the coal dust off me. Had a three hour nap after that, my first during the day in several years. This is one Valentine’s Day I shall remember for a long time. At least I had a hands-on experience of how bad the situation in the mines in Jharia really is. Otherwise, I would have just lazed around in my room wondering why my love life is blank while everyone else is all mushy-mushy today. It’s a ploy to make all single people feel like jerks. What is someone who does not have a Valentine supposed to do? I have a feeling all the protests against V-day has some of its roots in this fact. After all, why would someone protest if he had someone by his/her side who really loved him/her? Think about it.

Dastaan-e-Gangtok

First of all, I must apologize for the huge delay, because the trip in question happened way back in the end of November. However, due to foreseen avoidable circumstances, this blog has been dormant for a while. But as they say: “Better late than never”. So here goes.

A few minor details before we get down to the actual trip.

Q. Where did we go?  

A. Sikkim, Darjeeling.

Q. When?

A. Nov 26 – Dec 02, 2008 A.D.

Q. How many people went?  

A. TEN.

Q. Who went?

A. 10 sample pieces from ISM University. 5 were females and 5 were males. 

The Cast

Starring: Everyone below 

(As Saffrondude mentioned in one of his blogs, I do not know whether it is ethical to mention anyone’s names without asking them, so I don’t)

DD aka ‘the cowboy’ [aka=also known as]

Su & Su

What's in a name? 

Wiz

Alwin

Ritz

A Nishachar Prani (NP)

Swat Cat (SC). 

Yours truly, Sid.

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STOP RIGHT THERE! I know what you are thinking. 5 boys, 5 girls... hmmm... daal mein kuch kala hai!

So, let’s break it up here before you start imagining things, though I must admit some fools had actually paired us all up, but that does not count, does it? I shall repeat the same clichéd phrase: “We are friends only.”

Anyway, getting back to the actual trip, we left Dhanbad on the evening of November 26 for Burdwan from where we had a connecting train to New Jalpaiguri. Now, one of the benefits of travelling with girls is that you never have to worry about food, like in this case they had brought some parathas and stuff from their hostel. How considerate. We had about two hours to spend at Burdwan so some of us went to Big Bazaar and bought a smiley ball. 

In the train, We made sure that people near us also stayed awake while we played cards and had impromptu photo sessions in crazy poses. 

From NJP, we took an SUV for Gangtok after about an hour of negotiations over the prices. This journey was full of people throwing up at every turn and jerk. Only half the contingent was unaffected by it. Anyway, four hours later we were in Gangtok occupying four hotel rooms in what I must mention was an excellent hotel at a reasonable price. Special thanks from all of us to Zico for booking it for us.  


(Photos may be viewed here)

Daily Dossier 

(Disclaimer: You may skip this section, if you are not interested in the intricate details of our trip)

Day 1 basically passed by in settling down and exploring the areas around our hotel. M.G. Marg was all we could visit. Nice clean, wide roads with souvenir shops all around. We took a shortcut to M.G. Marg, which was about 2 km long and had an average upward inclination of about 45 degrees. 

Su spent the evening arranging for passes for all of us to Nathula through his contacts in the army.

Day 2

Places Visited: Nathula (Altitude:14200 feet), Baba Mandir(Altitude:13000 feet), Tsomgo/Tchangu lake. 

How often do you get the chance to visit the Indo-Chinese border and shake hands with a real life Chinese soldier (who, I thought looked really sly). Well, that's what we did when we visited Nathula, with the Indian Army's checkpost not too far off. We also had the privilege of meeting a few of our brave jawans protecting our borders. We even had snacks and some coffee at the place at Cafe 14000, bought some souvenirs and received a certificate of our visit to that height. It is going to take up a position of eminence in my CV ;). There was however not too much of snow up there. Blame it on global warming or perhaps we were about two weeks early. This was of course part of the famed 'Silk Route'. Nathula now serves as a passage to cross-border trade between the two countries. So, this is where all the cheap Chinese items come through. The road to Nathula was in a terrible condition. On the other side of the border, however, the road was awesome even comparable to some of our best highways- an indication that we just don't spend enough on infrastructure. 

While descending, we were stuck in a traffic jam (imagine that 14000 feet up). Cars had simply ceased to move. So, we came out of our vehicle and had a photo shoot with a beautiful backdrop. A descent of 1000 feet and we reached Baba Mandir, dedicated to a soldier who had drowned and then apparently reappeared in front of some of the soldiers of his regiment. Cafe 13000, situated here, made a lot of profit on this day because ten spendthrift people visited them.

Our next stop was Tchangu lake, where we did nothing more than dip our fingers in the freezing water. DD bought a cowboy hat from a nearby market. We could not go anywhere else as it gets really foggy in the evenings in the hills.

After dinner, we had a minor skirmish over where we would be going in the next two days after NP had sprained her ankle. Wiz was really interested in going to the monastries and learning about the village life of the local people after he had a chat with the bartender at the restaurant. SC hated Gangtok for no apparent reason, others were giving their own preferences while I recorded the entire 'fight'. There was this place called Yumthang where no one really wanted to go but there seemed to be no other place to visit. Darjeeling was discussed and then cancelled because of the Gorkhaland issue. Finally, a consensus was reached that we would travel in and around Gangtok the next day and decide on the future later. Talk about an unplanned trip!

Day 3

Places Visited: Jhakri Falls, Lingdum Monastery, Tashi View Point, Hanuman Tok Mandir.

Jhakri Falls was, in my view, the place we enjoyed ourselves the most during the entire trip. The usual photo sessions notwithstanding, we had a lot of fun near the waterfall (the water was really cold, mind you). We also had a go with the traditional attire of the region, those funny Pseudo-chinese suits looking good on some of us while the rest looked like jokers. Next, we visited Lingdum monastery, a very peaceful place with really friendly llamas. We got a nice insight into the lives of these devout followers of Buddha. What's more, I got to use their bathrooms, which were remarkably similar to the ones at our hostels. Tashi View Point had a beautiful view of Kanchenjunga and other peaks nearby.

We returned to Gangtok by sunset and spent the evening at M.G.Marg. And then out of the blue came the proposal from the girls that lets go to a disc.

Questions which cropped in my mind the moment I heard this: WHY? Did Gangtok even have a discotheque? Do these people want to get drunk? Is it safe here?

After quite some amount of deliberation, it was decided that we would actually go but no one would drink. We managed to book two cars to wait for us for our return to the hotel. I could tell that none of us were sure whether we were doing the right thing but went ahead anyway. We went inside unsure what to expect here and found a really really tiny dance floor and the air was suffocatingly smoky. Nevertheless, the girls wanted to dance so we joined them more as pseudo bouncers than anything else. There were also complementary drinks and we went for juices and cold drinks. However, DD passed a glass of whiskey to NP who almost drank it up.

The curious incident of the white t-shirt

While all this was happening, a person wearing a white shirt asked Alwin, who incidentally was also wearing white, to join him. Alwin politely declined the offer but the other guy continued to pursue, disappointment ripe in his face at being refused. That was when another guy, incidentally in white too, came to Alwin's rescue. As it turned out, white indicated that you are gay and are looking for a partner, which explained the poor fellow's repeated insisence on a "date". The second guy in white was a "hero" for Alwin, whom he'll probably be indebted to for the rest of his life. ;)

I had thought that this would be the day I would remember as the day I had bath in the girls' bathroom, but after what happened in the disc, it is the day on which Alwin had a tryst with homosexuality.

Day 4

The morning was spent deciding on and convincing Wiz that we are going to Darjeeling, and we finally actually bid adieu to Gangtok and set off for Darjeeling. On our way, we had decided to go rafting, which was an awesome adventure. Although the rapids weren't really very dangerous, they did get our adrenaline running. The water splashing in your face, wetting your clothes, the sudden dives of the raft, the entire 8 km downstream ride made it one of the most memorable times. The joy was slightly marred when Alwin and Wiz jumped in to the water with the two cameras we had. 

Once out of the water we were all freezing and couldn't wait to get to Darjeeling but there was a shocker in store for us. Our SUV had broken down and would go no further. The driver was ready to return only Rs. 500, while the driver of the only other empty vehicle, a jeep, we had managed to find in that area demanded Rs.900. There was a huge row in the middle of nowhere and only when it started getting dark were we forced to submit. The jeep ride to Darjeeling was torcherous and everyone except me and DD had fallen asleep out of tiredness. 

At Darjeeling, we found that everything had already closed down because of the curfew-like situation there. We needed to find a bakery because the next day was Swat Cat's birthday and we were lucky to actually find one about to pull the shutters down. After this, we found a hotel and immediately settled down for the night.

  

Day 5

We woke up at 4 o' clock (not kidding at all) and set off for Tiger Hill. The sight of the sun's orange rays reflecting from Kanchenjunga was out of this world. We celebrated Swat's birthday here to the astonishment of some tourists with all the cake smearing on her face. Some firangees took our photos as well. And Su dropped his cell phone in a dirty drain. 

In Darjeeling we also visited Batasia Loop, Rock Garden, a tea garden and a monastery. 

This was the last day of our trip and we had to catch a train from NJP in the evening which meant our stay at Darjeeling was really short. Once on the train, we were told that the train had changed its route from that very day and would not be going to Burdwan at all. How can a train change its route??? Why did they issue us tickets to Burdwan then? Anyway, circumstances forced us to reach Kolkata and that meant all ten of us went to my home, had baths etc. before catching a train back to Dhanbad. In between, we had lunch at Pizza Hut where Swat gave her birthday treat. 

I guess I have over-wriiten a bit...

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Let me now delve into few of the interesting aspects of our trip, which had more to do with our madness than the places we visited.

 The Songs

Now, in between all these wonderful places that we visited, I also came to learn the hard way, the awesome memory girls have because of the sheer number of songs they know. The attack (if I may call it so) was relentless with one song starting before the previous one ends. There was no escaping it as these sessions happened in the car. I did not even know there existed so many songs and the ones that I did know a little bit about, the lyrics were beyond me. Man, they knew millions of songs entirely by heart. The Nishachar Prani mentioned earlier really came into her own in the evenings while she slept through most of our travels during the day, only waking up when we reached some destination. Wiz slept through most of these sessions while DD bore it bravely. Alwin was even more clueless than me (if that is possible), mainly because he is ashamed of speaking in Hindi. The male Su used to join in once in a while. After the first couple of days, I had the realisation that 'If you can't beat them, join them.' And I too started humming with the tunes, not entirely sure what the next word in the song really is.  

 The Photo Sessions

Our trip was also remarkable because we went around clicking anywhere and everywhere and unlike previous holidays that I have been to, this had more people than sceneries. At the end of it, I believe we had more than 1300 photos, well short of our planned mark of 2000 because of the rafting mishap. An interesting point to note here is that people enjoyed making horns behind each other's heads with their fingers. I am assuming here that they do not know the significance of the horns. So lets get enlightened. For starters, it has nothing to do with the devil. In fact, whenever we make the sign of horns behind a boy's head, we are unwittingly referring to their virility. This is why Vikings wore horned helmets and if I may add, it is also the source of the word 'horny' used so often today. I am not sure what it means when the same is done behind a girl though, which happened on many occassions too.

(N.B. The source of this fact is unreliable, but is true to the best of my knowledge.)

 G.S.T.= Time decided + 30 minutes (at least)

We boys also had first hand experience with what I now call the Girls' Standard Time. I, for one, had never been privy to this concept, but now I know what to expect and I arrange my daily schedules accordingly whenever there is something in which the fairer sex is involved. (For those rare females who are punctual, I salute you and request you to not take this to your heart.)

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THANK YOU

This truly was one of the most memorable trips that I have ever been on and its memories will be cherished forever.  I was initially unsure whether I would be compatible with the girls who went along because it one thing to know each other well, quite another to spend a week together. But, in hindsight, their presence made it all the more lively and enjoyable. Without them I don't think we would have gone to the disc nor ventured out for rafting.  A big THANK YOU to all the nine friends, who made it so remarkable that even three months down the line I keep going through all the photos of the trip every few days.  

(Photos may be viewed here)

A Day in Patna

That is where six of us were last Saturday. Now, you must be wondering what the hell I was doing in Patna of all places. That shall be recounted a bit later. We reached Patna station at around 5 a.m. After leaving the station, we were greeted with a sea of people moving in all directions. It kind of reminded me of Howrah Station, minus the size. Guess it’s the same in all major cities around the country, with the huge population that we have. Anyway, Hims was really under pressure and was about to shit in his pants when he (thankfully) found a ‘Sulabh Shauchalay’. While he was gone, Nilesh suddenly realised that he could not see anything. That was because he had left his newly acquired specs, which cost a fortune, in the train itself. Brilliant! And the train was about to leave for the next station. So he made a run for it, across the crowd, over the foot-bridge and to the platform where the train was still (luckily) standing. He returned five minutes later, his eyesight now restored. As they say, “Morning shows the day!” And this was one hell of a beginning of a day.

Next stop: Patna Medical College Hospital, where we met Dev. Now, the reason we went to Patna was because Dev’s father has been hospitalized and needed blood. I wish him a speedy recovery.   

Hims was like really freaking out because he is scared of syringes. We had a ball of a time chiding him for it.

Useless Observation 1: Cattle like cows and goats are huge in Patna, I mean larger than their normal size. I saw one cow there; it stood in the middle of the road and blocked all the traffic, which seemed to be mainly composed of autos, rickshaws and bicycles for some reason. I had never seen a cow of that size before. The same goes for a few goats we ran into. Guess there growth hormones really kicked in at the right time. 

                                      

Anyway, we went to the blood-bank section of the hospital and after some paper-work were ready to give blood. I was first in. The nurse asked all kinds of questions like have i had any disease like jaundice or malaria, whether I had taken any anti-biotics etc. etc. Finally assured that I was clean to give blood, I was asked to lie down on a bed after which I was poked with a syringe in my arm. And the blood was flowing- my precious blood. Meanwhile, Hims came into the room and went through the same process himself. Around five minutes later, they finally took away a pouchful of nice O+ve blood. The nurse asked me whether I was feeling fine.

                                             

Of course I was feeling fine. Best feeling in the world: satisfaction that I have done something nice. It was bliss. I could see golden sprinkles in front of my eyes and then everything went white- pure and untampered white. The feeling was awesome. I am guessing that this is what they mean when they say drug users are on a ‘high’. It felt like having attained ‘Nirvana’ or ‘Moksh’.

(I was later told that I had actually fainted for about half a minute till some water was sprinkled on my face. Guess the blood just stopped flowing to my brain)

Hims could not stop laughing and get his back on me. After all the leg pulling I had done for his fear of needles, it was I who had fainted. Ohh! The shame of it.

Ten minutes down the line, however, I felt absolutely fine, absolutely no problems. So we decided we would roam around Patna, and bid Dev and his family goodbye. Unfortunately, we could not find anything interesting at all. We finally ended up back at the station at 6 p.m. It was now my turn to use the ‘Sulabh Shauchalay’. They are precious jewels of the civilized world.

Useless Observation 2: The feeling was amazing when the pressure was relieved and I had emptied my bowels. It is difficult to believe that sex would be better than this. I hope it is.

We had a situation on our hands at about 8 p.m. Two among us had to catch a train from Gaya to Lucknow, while the rest of us were going to Dhanbad. It was around 8 that we learnt that the train to Lucknow had been cancelled because of some trouble. So, these two guys had to go through a lot of trouble and spend a fortune on getting tickets for another train from Patna to Lucknow. We finally departed Patna at around 11 p.m. with a few cherishable, but mostly forgettable experiences. To be honest, unless it is a necessity, I would not be going back there again.    

Durga Puja through my eyes

So, finally Durga Puja is over. Probably my best holidays since I joined college in terms of enjoyment. I did not take part in the actual ‘pujo’ part of it, though, for obvious reasons. I do not know if it was me or whether the crowd seemed to have dwindled in number compared to previous years. Another thing I noticed was that there were hardly any people (especially of my age group) who were not with someone from the opposite sex. Hmmm.

That made our group of the 2006-batch from school quite unique, when you consider that we were more than a dozen or so in number while roaming about and never less than five at any point of time, without a girl anywhere near us. No, we are not gay, at least most of us aren’t. Some people like to call themselves bachelors (BBC for the people directly involved). However, I am assured that towards the evenings, a large number of our group did betray us to spend time with their female friends. (Because of uncertainty, I shall not use the word girlfriend.) There is hope for us yet.

                                              

                                 The Pratima(idol) and interiors at Babubagan in South Kolkata.

We hopped from one pandal to another, most of which were impressive and innovative. They ‘were’ seriously good pieces of art/architecture with immaculate designs and delicate craftsmanship. The same is true for all the pratimas (idols). Dismantling the pandals and immersing the idols in the river of Hooghly at the end of it all seems like sacrilege, if you think about it. Imagine dismantling the Taj Mahal or the St. Peter’s Basilica, or throwing the ‘Statue of David’ or the ‘Mona Lisa’ into the ocean. Michelangelo or Da Vinci would not be too pleased by that, would they? Neither would they be as famous as they are now had that been the case. Imagine the kind of fame these artisans who make the Durga idols have got if their works were preserved.

An article on these lines was published a few days ago in TOI describing how the artisans need to be indifferent towards their own pieces of art. And the last time I heard, they weren’t rolling in cash either. That means they get neither the adequate amount of money nor the recognition they deserve for their work. Isn’t that grossly unfair on them?

I guess the whole thing culminates to our tradition that the idol must be immersed in the ‘holy’ waters of the Ganga. Besides the afore-mentioned loss to the artisans, it must be contributing immensely to the already grave water pollution scenario. After all, the paint used does contain lead and other toxic chemicals which are mixed with the river water after the immersion. Maybe it is time we have a re-think over whether our traditions are really worth following.

Lots of people may be up in arms over such a thought, but it does not take Einstein to figure out that such festivities at the end leave both the people and the environment poorer. In this respect, it was ironical that one particular pandal had chosen ‘Pollution Control’ as its theme for the pandal and lighting this year. I wonder whether they did anything substantial to control pollution themselves.

Photo Courtesy: Saurav Samaddar, Babubagan Sarbojaninn Durgotsav Committee

Overboard with Chips

I like chips, but this stall, near a puja pandal, just went overboard.

Musings during a Train Journey

Travelling alone by train is one of the most lonesome experiences possible. Had the misfortune of being at the receiving end of one such journey the other day, when I was returning home for puja vacations. As DD rightly put it, “When you travel alone by train, you get a first-hand experience of the fact that staying single is so boring.” Because of the ample amount of free time, I could contemplate about many things which I generally would not, and so I penned (or rather typed) them down.

                                         

The ‘common man’ in India is probably one of the most insensitive among all common men of the world. How can we be so indifferent towards what is going on around us?

We complain about the fact that the government does not do anything for us. “Chaaron taraf kitni gandagi hai.” You will hear this often, and yet it will be the very same people who litter the streets without thinking twice about it. Can’t they find a dustbin anywhere? They should take a leaf from Saffrondude’s book (read his post on Littering).

The huge population of the country, especially the large number of poor people is often decried. Yet, when a poor man tries to honestly earn some money, there is everyone trying to push him down. I was witness to one such occasion during this uneventful train journey. A vendor was selling ‘samosa and kachauri’ and charged six rupees a plate. Having eaten one plate myself, I must mention here that they were delicious. Yet, when it came to paying for it, a fellow passenger had a fight with the vendor over the price saying he would pay no more than five rupees. The man was well-dressed, flaunted an expensive mobile phone and looked like one whose troubles in life were mostly artificial. Surely, he had felt the pinch of inflation himself, or did he think that he was the only one to be affected by it and people like the vendor still enjoyed prices existing 10 years ago. Then what was it that drove him to engage in a war of words over ‘one rupee’, one tiny, useless, insignificant rupee; something which probably did not have any value for him but must surely have had meant something for the vendor.

To add to this particular passenger’s impudence, ten minutes after this incident he went to the door and had a smoke. “Surely, sir, your cigarette cost more than the one rupee you just robbed from that poor man.” I felt like slapping him, one because of the aforementioned incident and second because the smoke was irritating me. But then, I can’t go around slapping people. I couldn’t even muster enough courage to tell him that he was wrong. Why? I was just as likely to be shouted down as the poor vendor. Boy, do some people think they are the ‘centre of the universe’ or what?

This is more a generalization than an exception. While I accept that most people are not as insolent or uncouth as this person was, the indifference and insensitivity is there for all to see. How often is it that we see an accident on the road, and only a couple or so people rush to help while the rest watch it and then continue without looking back?

 “It is his/her problem; there are so many others here to look after them, what do I care?”

Someday, sir (or ma’am), you will find yourself in the same position and then there would probably be no one to help you out. Maybe, then you would realise that there are some things in this world called humanity, kindness and benevolence as well.  

Blind Date!!!

(After a lot of contemplation, I am posting this, two weeks after the actual incident. Please do not mind the delay. :-)

I went on a ‘blind’ date on my birthday. Unfortunately was ‘dumb and deaf’ too, so the two of us ended up not saying anything to each other. The presence of two other blind-daters on the same table was also annoying and completely baffled me. The whole point of going on a date was dismissed. It was boring to say the least. No offence meant to the other two people, but why didn’t you sit on another table? The whole place was empty. And why didn’t my date and I use my head as well? Guess I just go blank on dates as you will come to know if you read on (girls might think I am retarded). Mera kuch nahi ho sakta!

Random Observations Part I:

1. None of us spoke anything remotely close to what is expected to be spoken on a date. I may be wrong. The three more experienced people, who were sitting on the same table, please correct me if I am. Wait! Yeah, we did talk about how it all started with the actual people we are committed to. As you might have guessed by now, I had nothing to contribute on this topic. So I drank lots of water.
2. The food was terrible. Why can’t everyone eat non-veg?
3. On one occasion, the other three people sitting on the table were all playing with their respective glasses. I followed suit. Allan Pease, expert on body language, says “Fondling a Cylindrical Object” is a sign that one finds someone around him/her interesting. Now who found who interesting in a group of four is anybody’s guess. More on body language later.
4. There was some dispute over who is paying the bill. The other guy insisted that he pay and the girls insisted that they would pay half of it and put two hundred bucks on the table. A small skirmish was imminent. Someone (that’s me) saved the day by commenting that “table se paise hata do, nahi toh waiter tip samajh ke le jaayega”. That’s called managerial skill - calming down people and saving your money in the process.

Next in line was a trip to CCD where we ran into two more blind date couples. They looked like they had more fun than us, probably because they were alone with their respective dates.

Random Observations Part II:

1. After having had my a** kicked a few million times in the previous two days (birthday), I was thumped on the back by a girl who looks a lot like a teddy bear.
2. Allan Pease also says that “when a man/woman finds a person of the opposite sex interesting their foot/ knee points towards them. On this occasion, legs were pointed in all sorts of directions, so it was difficult to judge.
3. Each of the couples was asked to do something.

• The first sang ‘Pehla Nasha...’ and then smeared pizza on each other.
• The second and third did something I can’t remember.
• My date was asked to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. How silly! She had already done that. I was asked to sing something back. Couldn’t think of anything. Should have sang something romantic.
  Instead I sang: “Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai...”, which is exactly what I felt at that moment.
  Then I was asked to feed chocolate to my date, which was easy.
  Ohh! The things people come up with.
  

4.I did not pay anything at any point of the ‘date’, which was good.
5.The auto-wallah took eighty rupees while returning, which I felt was too much.

Chronicles of the Library...

"... and the most happening place in the campus is - THE LIBRARY."
Well, it is true at this point of time at least. Everyone seems to be flocking there. So I too joined the crowd. I have been unaccustomed to the library environment for a few months now, so it took me some time to adjust. Yesterday, I actually spent five hours studying four pages there. Hence, I had decided that no matter what I would study like a 'dog' today. But, my mind had other ideas. Here is what happened in the one hour I actually sat there. (Imagine a conversation between ME and Me, like you know, when you talk to yourself, silently.)

ME: Shit! Everyone is studying like a dog!
Study! Study! Study!

'Seismic Data Acquisition is one stage of a multi-stage process known as
Seismic Surveying. Other stages include...'

(Ten Minutes later)

ME: There is too much noise here. Where is it coming from? (I look around.)
How the hell is the tube-light making noise? Isn't it supposed to give light
instead? Someone switch it off.

Me: Time to unleash the earphones. Block out the noise with some melody.

Song: "अरे यारों दोस्ती बड़ी ही हसीं है..."

ME: Yeah. Good Song.

'Modern Data Acquisition is basically Imaging of the Earth and consists of
the following steps...'

(Fifteen minutes down the line)

ME: Why do those two always sit together?

Me: Because they are a couple dumbo. You know, like love and stuff.

ME: Ohhh! But they aren't studying at all. Why sit in the library then? Taking up
precious seats.

Me: Who cares? You got one, didn't you?

ME: Yeah.

Song Changes:"वोह पहली बार जब हम मिले,
हाथों में हाथ जब हम चले..."

(And my mind starts wandering towards 'other' things.)

Me: Hello! Come back to Earth!
Concentrate! Concentrate! Change the song.

ME: Okay.

Song: On Sacred Ground (by Yanni)

Me: That is more like it. Now study.

'Single impulsive point sources cannot efficiently produce enough seismic
energy needed to image deeper targets well... ' (Studied for 15 minutes)

ME: This place is so crowded. All because of the country's population.

(And then, for some strange reason, I remembered a Biology period in Class X.
Sir was teaching about sex, contraceptives and stuff.)

SIR: "One of the reasons for the population explosion in rural areas is the fact
that in really remote places, people do not have access to any other source
of entertainment."

ME: Hmmm. We need a multiplex in Dhanbad. Pronto!

Me: Cut the crap! Study!

(Power Cut)

ME: Yessss!

(Power returns)

ME: Shit!

Me: Let's go back. You are wasting your time here.

ME: I agree.


(And back I came and wrote this piece of nonsense. I have exams from Monday!)

Grow Up Kid

“Familiarity breeds Contempt.”

This is what I have learnt the hard way in the last two weeks. The guilty party, of course, was me. I have hurt / disappointed two good friends because I had, perhaps, taken them for granted. I might have also shown a certain level of immaturity and insensitivity. I AM SORRY.

I don’t know why but thinking straight just seems like an impossible task nowadays. My mind, though not in turmoil, is scrambled and is meandering around. I need to focus at the task in hand and think of the consequences/effects before doing something. I NEED TO GROW UP.

On a lighter note, Saturday was my birthday which meant sitting down was the most challenging thing in the world. Something which may sound interesting happened on my birthday. I went on a ‘blind’ date, part of an entourage of four blind-date couples. I shall avoid the specifics.

Midnight Farce

I AM IN LOVE!!!

This is what everyone is hell bent on convincing me about, especially since the NOTTING HILL episode (which, mind you, has not reached its climax yet). First Saffrondude, then Ad Libber and then a train of people who picked up this idea from somewhere. On Independence Day, Mr. Procrastinator (alias Narcissist) asked me who my first ‘crush’ at ISM was. Then, the very next night AL came up with the same question, straight out of the blue, that too at 2.00 a.m.!

AL was recounting the events of yesterday on ‘Raksha Bandhan’ with his ‘mu boli behen’ and how they ran into three other ‘mu-boli bhai behen’ couples and what happened thereafter. But that will be relived some other day as it has nothing to do with the eccentric conversation which followed, and which lasted more than an hour.

Here are some excerpts:

AL (suddenly): Who was your first crush in ISM?

Me: WHAT???

AL: Have you had a crush in ISM? (has a goofy smile on his face)

Me: Yes (I surprised myself with that answer. YES? Why did I say yes?)

AL: You have? (His mouth ends up in a big ‘O’, obviously startled)

Who was it? (shouts it out)

Me: I am not telling.

AL: Why not?

Me: I don’t know. Just forget it.

AL: This is news. Come on, don’t be a jack-ass. Tell me who it is. I’ll not tell anyone.

Me: No.

AL(trying to emotionally blackmail me): I am your friend. You should share things with your friends.

Me: I’ve no problem sharing things, but these are thoughts and feelings.

AL: A**hole!

OK. There are 15 possibilities. No wait. Is it a senior?

Me: No.

AL: And obviously it cannot be a junior because you don’t know anyone. But then, you don’t need to know someone to have a crush.

Me (trying to take the conversation out of these dangerous waters): I like Speed of Sound by Coldplay (and I play the song).

AL: Don’t talk shit. Answer my questions.

Is it someone who is already committed?

Me: No comments.

AL: ‘No comments’ means yes.

Me: No, it does not.

AL: So, it’s a no.

Me: No comments.

AL: How many are committed now? Six as far as I know. So, that leaves nine. Wait. Come on, tell me, is she committed or not?

Me: No, I think. Well, I hope not.

AL: That means this crush is still there.

Me: No comments.

AL: F**k! You still have that crush. Have you ever spoken to her?

Me: Huh? How does that matter?

AL: It matters. Tell.

Me: Sort of eliminates half the list if I answer that. I won’t answer that.

AL: What the f**k? Give some clue, at least. (pesters me for about 10 minutes for a clue)

Me(giving in to his pestering): Her name ends with the letter ‘A’

AL: Ahh! Now we are talking.

(After about a minute’s contemplation bursts out): A**hole! Everyone’s name ends with ‘A’. Only 3 people’s does not. OK. At least it brings the list of probables down to six.

(Is silent for a while. Then again explodes): Tell me who it is. You should. This is bad. I am your friend.

Me: I am not telling.

AL(asks again): Just tell me this. Have you spoken to her or not?

Me: Nopes. I mean I am not telling.

AL(starts making a list of girls whom I have spoken to and ends up making an inaccurate one, thankfully): Which branch is she in?

Me: Will become too easy if I answer that.

AL: Is it MD?

Me: What? (surprised that that came up) What makes you think that it is so?

AL: Is it or not?

Me: (shaking my head) I am not telling anything else to you. Go to sleep. I got new pillow covers, need to use them.

AL: OK. Tell something about her.

Me: I need to know them to tell anything about them.

AL: Come on. Say something. What is the point hiding?

Me: Can you read body language?

AL: No. (Thank goodness. If he could, he would have got the answer by now.)

(after a pause): I am going to guess one name. You just say ‘yes’ if I am right. Nothing else. Deal?

Me: No way.

AL: You are useless. You know, if you tell me I can help you move things forward.

Me (almost tempted to give it away): NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let it be.

AL: Is it crush or is it love?

Me: What is the difference?

AL: Crush is more a temporary phase.

Since when is this there? Since first year?

Me: Hmmm. I don’t know what it is. Forget it.

AL: Come on, man. Just let it out. Pleeease!

Me: Not telling.

AL: Fine! I am going. You wasted an hour of mine. F**K OFF!

Me: Yes. I did.

(and AL leaves)

It was around 3 a.m. when he finally left and I dozed off immediately. Readers of my blog, you are the best judge. If I was in love or had a crush, wouldn’t I be wide awake throughout the night thinking about her rather than sleep like a baby?

P.S. Any girl who has started imagining things, I ask you to please continue to do so. And if, in the unlikely event, you have a crush on me (which I cannot imagine WHY), please express it as you cannot expect the same from me.

Friends and Poli

Had a great time last Sunday. Friendship Day after all. These two friends decided the day was apt to give their birthday treats which were due for about 4 months. First lunch, then CCD and finally bought a pillow! Also found out that we were probably the most boring group of people. At least some of us are, people like me, DD and SU hardly had anything to say. To top it all, we were all recounting the most embarrassing moments of our lives and all of us spoke about incidents from the classrooms in our schools. Is that all our lives are made of?
Friends are great. I can’t live without them. They are there when you need them etc. etc. bla bla bla.

But what do you do when your friends turn out to be not as innocent as you had thought them to be? What do you do if you find that some of them are wolves in sheep’s clothing? The thought that your closest buddies can be the shrewdest foxes going around sends a chill down my spine to be frank.

It’s that time of the year when people are selected for the different posts, and as with most other institutes you have rivalry between different factions of the student community who are looking to go one up on the others. I just happened to overhear some of these conversations in the recent past. I cannot recount them but it confirmed to me that there is more to my friends than meets the eye and while I was oblivious to things around me these people were busy plotting and planning their next moves- which profs to approach, what strategy would the other party be playing, who are the different candidates for a given post and so on. From their words, it was also apparent that the female population was also involved to a large extent, something which I had not expected. SILLY ME! How is that possible when there are cries for gender equality all around?

Ohh! How I miss those days to return when you could trust all your friends blindly. Now, it is difficult to decide whom you can still call a friend and who is going to stab someone at the back (at least figuratively). Best of Luck, buddies! But, keep me away from this please.

P.S. This post does not attack any person, so any friend of mine reading this, please don't take it personally.

THE FINAL WORD

(Here is a piece written by DD. Both DD and me are members of Team MD. For background information, MD in this post stands for ‘Mailer Daemon’. It is the students’ newspaper of ISM University. The setting is of us taking interviews for a new team.)

A year has passed since I pushed myself into Team MD. And I have managed to stick to it till today. My colleagues in the team are aware of two kinds of Team MD members: one, those who are dedicated to it and work hard till the end. They ‘eat, dream and think MD’ while working on an issue. The second category belongs to those who were not able to cope up with the pressure and left MD for its and their good. Guess I am a third kind- a category still needed to be researched. (Right now, my colleagues are working on our last issue, while I am typing this article.)

But this article is not about ‘how I fared for MD’. So let us forget this part and let me tell you what is going on in MD right now. Right now, we are interviewing candidates for selecting a new team for MD. How I had waited for this moment since the day I was selected. Back then, I imagined this day as one in which I would scrutinize, analyze and cross-question each candidate so as to bring out the true successors of our team. Now, I amuse myself by watching my colleagues do the same. Just on the second day of the interviews, I found myself hardly uttering a word. (Don’t dream of an HR like me!) ‘My colleagues, try to recall, I was there sitting right beside you.’ I watched, as some anxious, some nervous and some energetic faces took the chair before me while Ishant from one end and Shreya from the other, hovered like vultures, ready to peck at every slip of their tounge. Among the remaining enthusiasts were Sid, Divir, Sukanya, Sukhi, Vijit and Avinash, ready to chip in their part whenever they got a chance. ‘The dedicated and sincere team MD.’ Meanwhile, ‘the Bad Boy of the team‘(that’s me) was busy planning this article and was randomly generating numbers to fill up his analysis sheet. I decided to go back in time and put myself in the interviewee’s position to analyze how I would have fared in the same test.

Interviewer (MD): Would you like to introduce yourself?

Me: (Actually no. My name is a bit too long and you would forget it, the moment I leave this room. My branch will sound alien to you and my hobby-reading books- is of no practical use to you. Anything I mention thereafter about myself will generate further cross questions- causing myself to land in trouble. It is most unwise to introduce myself. But will have to say :) Yes.

MD: Introduce yourself.

Me: I would blabber out the usual intro and add nothing extra, lest I provoke further questions. All this, I would say in a loud tone, with an accent so that you get irritated and leave me quickly.

MD: What do you want your role to be in MD?

Me: (Let me think. If I choose editor it means sitting at my comp, reading other’s articles, sometimes writing by myself. OK, I will manage that, others will most probably help. Reporting will mean running here and there, speaking to admin etc etc. That is too much work. Easy decision.) I want to take up an editor’s job.

I now realize that back then my decision to choose editor actually got me selected. I escaped the PI round, something -I now feel, I would never have qualified.

MD: Where is the campus administration building and the maintenance department?

Me: (Campus Administration has to be within the campus. That is one thing I am sure of. But Murphy’s Law states that: ‘the greatest myth about administration is that, it exists.’ That makes CA a mythical place. What the hell!) I don’t know where the CA is.

Of course, I know where the maintenance department is. It is right behind the workshop. I went there once in the first year to get my window’s glass fixed. I had broken it, made it drop right from the first floor. The complaint got registered, nothing happened thereafter.

MD: What are your likes and dislikes about ISMU?

Me: (I must be cautious about this question- a tricky one. These guys love to point out shortcomings about ISMU, be it students or the admin. So to impress them, I must do the same. The part about ‘likes’ is just a pitfall, I must avoid. I am a clever guy.)

I dislike the students of ISMU. They make too much fuss about everything. There is a breed in ISM which wastes a year discussing ‘why shouldn’t we give certificates of merit to our rivals?’And prior to this, they would plan out a strategy for a month to ‘reach to a particular high status so that they can discuss the previously mentioned question.’ There is another species which goes on claiming for ‘more space.’ Then there is another which spends most of their time in challenging this claim. There is a group that has decided that its life’s ambition is to see all the infrastructural developments that ISM is ever capable of within their four or five years of stay in ISMU. Also ISM must have an increased area and the net speed must build up every year-all this they must witness while they are here. Finally there is MD which compiles all of this into six pages and hands it back to them.

What do I like about ISMU? I like the students of ISMU. There is a breed which is hell-bent on making a mark at ISMU. They would go up to any extent to fulfil their ambition, while they are here at ISMU. Be it promoting their departmental identity, helping the poor, or inspiring entrepreneurial skills, they are always out at the forefront. They are warriors. Remember the shout when the trophy of Muqabla was brought home. Remember Mechathlon, remember Sparx. Those were the times when ISM shone like never before. Ask yourself, don’t they deserve a little more than what they are getting? Maybe they asked for coaches, maybe they asked for a little more departmental and admin cooperation. Shouldn’t an effort be made to grant these? Remember: ‘A college is known by its students.’ And finally there is MD, which is composed of heroes selected from this breed. (When shall the groups mentioned previously get merged with this breed? But I guess, they are one and the same. ‘A mere flip changes the face of the coin.’)

MD: Improvements for MD?

Me: MD. When was the last time I read the complete paper? I remember noticing bar graphs in one of the issues. Then once, there was an article about status of girls in ISM - written by girls of course. You generally expect such stuff from them. ‘Good (status) generally leads to the expectation of Better (status).’ Once again, there was a full page of ‘Ruby Survey’. But that article was not for me. I have stopped staring at them since the time they started staring at me as if they were looking at an ‘ascetic kid.’ No wonders there. I hardly speak, while in a group. Other than these, I hardly recall any other article. Therefore you must increase the frequency of MD so that people like me at least remember a bunch of articles to speak about.

The final question was usually based on a situation, where one had to interview an admin member usually. I having chosen editorship would have escaped this question. So let me tell you, that my colleagues pretended to be part of the admin and conducted a mock interview. From their act, the following things about the admin were clear:

• The admin is ready to come up with excuses at every mistake that is pointed out.
• The admin/G.Sec is ready to take up any action if ‘approached through a proper channel.’
• Everything is student’s fault. ‘No proper events are conducted because students don’t turn up.’(So no point conducting a better event.) ‘The sports complex need not be improved since the students won’t maintain it.’
• The Yahoo HR will never accept the existence of ISMU at least in this life.
• G.Sec will simply act as an interface between students and admin. He lacks the brains or guts to gather support and fight for a cause.

There were further inferences, but I don’t remember them right now.

There you go. I have spoken my heart out. I seldom do that. Judge for yourself whether I deserve to be in the MD team after giving such an interview. By the way do not mistake this for a BC article. Trivial BC is not my job. I am totally serious regarding all views expressed. Also if I am responsible for any hurt feelings upon reading this article. ‘Hate mails invited.’

(For more visit the MD website The site is under construction.)

Notting Hill

NOTTING HILL has taken over my life. I have watched the movie an unprecedented 13 times, YES 13 TIMES, in the last 5 days, and if I am not careful, it can easily become 14 within the next 2 hours. Quoting Saffrondude: ”This is ‘madness’ unlike anything I have seen or heard before.” You are probably thinking I need to see a psychiatrist. Maybe.

Let me take you through my state of mind in the last five days.

June 24, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:1

About 22:00 hours:
Just had my dinner. Opened my laptop and thought let’s watch a movie. Which movie should I watch now?
Shawshank Redemption? Naa, have watched it once this summer already.
How about The Illusionist? Don’t feel like.
Taare Zameen Par? Naa.
Exorcist? No Way.
NOTTING HILL? Ahhh…haven’t watched this for a while. (BIG MISTAKE!)

June 25, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

11:00 hours: Had a bath. What do I do now? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.
23:00 hours: No one is online. What do I do? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.

June 26, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

<-DITTO as previous day ->

June 27, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

11:00 hours: Had a bath. What do I do now? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.

17:00 hours: Need a LAN wire for hostel as old one is lost. Went to Chandni Chowk. Got lost. Finally found my way out of the maze of shops 1.5 hours later with thankfully a 5 metre long LAN wire.

20:00 hours: Had Dinner.

20:10 hours: It is Notting Hill time.

June 28, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:4…WHOA!

There is nothing more to say.

June 29, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

09:00 hours: Yippeeeeee! Watched a movie that is not Notting Hill. Watched ‘Serial Mom’.
12:00 hours:
Sane me:” Common, think of something to do. There is more to life than a movie.”
Insane me: “And what a movie it is. I think I shall watch it again.”
Sane me: “No, you are not. You have had enough of this. Get a grip.”
Insane me: “Are you insane?”

Both fight and ohhh … Insane me wins… Notting Hill, here I come.

18:00 hours: Cousin has come. He wants to watch a movie. Oh no! Not again.

Well, that pretty much sums up what I have gone through in the last five days. Saffrondude, on hearing this, commented that I am in love!!!It is such a romantic movie, he says.Pretty heavy, coming from a guy who could not imagine me with a girlfriend 6 months ago (see older post on LOVE).

NOTTING HILL. It is a lovely movie. I can almost act it out now.
Well, I better go now. Don’t worry, I won’t watch Notting Hill now. EURO CUP finals is about to start. Ohhh… Notting Hill…..

P.S.1) Any help from anyone who claims to dig me out of this hole is welcome

P.S.2) Dear Reader, if you read this and do not comment, I shall pelt you with olives.

Random Observations of a Primate stuck in a tree in a sweltering Summer afternoon

The good thing about summer vacations is that they are so long (2 months for me), when you can learn something new and catch up with friends and relatives. The bad thing about them is they are so long, you get bored sitting at home or going to the same places over and over again. It is like you actually have too much of a good thing. Hell, it has only been 10 days or so, 50 more to go, I shall go mad by the end of it.

Some of my more enterprising friends and college-mates are doing projects. Some have even gone abroad for them. Good Luck to them, huh!!!

I have been acting as guide to two of them showing them around the city, you know the usual places- Victoria Memorial, Esplanade, Science City, Nicco Park, blah blah blah. Plans ahead :- Botanical Gardens, Eden Gardens for a match, Digha, Darjeeling, North-East India, Italy, Moon….I better stop. It seems they are doing more traveling than project-work. Suits me!

There are still others who have gone for industrial training for a first hand experience of how the job is done by the big shots, some enjoying it at exotic spots like Goa, others ruing it either because they have made a bad choice or due to plain bad luck have ended up at a crap place. My sympathy lies with them, and my advice that from next time “apna dimaag lagao, doosron ke baton pe mat jaao”. (It is meant for a couple of people, so if you are reading this, you will know I am talking to you. No hard feelings. :-)

Finally, there is the breed of procrastinators like me who decided: “WHAT THE HECK! ENJOY YOUR TIME AT HOME.” Mind you, I am not exactly partying away, I am getting some work done, only it seems to be lacking in direction at the moment. It involves Earthquakes!!! What else do you expect from a student of GEOPHYSICS?

Talking of enjoying, I am enjoying the regular storms (norwesters or kalbaisakhi as they call them) in the recent past. Too bad for the uprooted trees though. Got stuck in one of these when I was at Landmark yesterday with a couple of friends. So, we went back inside again.

Got my hands on two interesting books while I was there:

1. HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

2. HOW TO RUIN YOUR LOVE LIFE.

The inspirational author was Ben Stein.

Here are some excerpts from the CONTENTS pages of the books: (The one’s in bold are those which I especially liked)

First, "HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE"

• DON’T LEARN ANY USEFUL SKILLS
• CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
• KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL WISDOM
• TREAT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD TO YOU BADLY
• HANG OUT WITH THE WRONG CROWD
• USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL FREELY
• KNOW THAT THE RULES OF REASONABLE, DECENT CONDUCT DO NOT APPLY TO YOU
• LIVE AS IF TRUTH IS RELATIVE- A DISTANT RELATIVE
• SHOW EVERYONE AROUND YOU THAT YOU ARE HOLIER THAN THOU

Once I had ruined my life, I went over to ruining my “LOVE LIFE”, which, of course, is non-existent.....as of now.

• REST ASSURED THAT YOU KNOW BETTER ABOUT EVERY SUBJECT THAN YOUR LOVER
• POINT OUT YOUR LOVER’S IMPERFECTIONS IN PUBLIC
• CARVE IT IN STONE: LOVE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T PARTNERSHIPS, THEY ARE MASTER-SERVANT RELATIONSHIPS, AND YOU ARE THE MASTER (OR MISTRESS)
• REMEMBER THAT YOUR LOVER IS YOUR PUNCHING BAG
• PLAY PHONE GAMES- DON’T RETURN HIS/HER CALLS TO SHOW HOW COOL AND ALOOF YOU ARE
• DON’T EVER TELL YOUR LOVER “I LOVE YOU”
• ACT LIKE A BIG BABY ON DATES
• TAKE TOTAL POSSESSION OF YOUR LOVER’S HOME
• FLIRT WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE- IN FRONT OF YOUR LOVER
• MAKE THE DECISION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY FOR MONEY- AND DON’T LET LOVE ENTER THE EQUATION
• HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR LOVER’S BEST FRIEND OR ROOM-MATE, AND TRUST THAT HE/SHE WILL NEVER FIND OUT or EVEN CARE!
• GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOVER’S FAMILY BUSINESS
• BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART THAT THERE’S SOMEONE BETTER JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND TREAT YOUR CURRENT LOVER LIKE HE/SHE IS MERELY A TEMPORARY SUBSTITUTE FOR THE REAL THING
• WHEN THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL, START A FIGHT.

NOW THAT ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE ARE RUINED, I SHALL TAKE A LEAVE AND END IT HERE.….CIAO