LOVE!! WHAT'S THAT???

I am really tired after a nice get-together with my friends from school. Unfortunately, these get-togethers generally tend to be revolved around all of us running about after a spherical shaped object and trying to put it through a rectangular bar with our feet. I don’t see any point in it but enjoy it nevertheless. These get-togethers also give us the opportunity to catch up with what is going on in each other’s lives. Who’s been ditched by his girlfriend? Who has fallen in love? And who has someone trying to nick his gf?

I feel pretty left-out during these instances as my love life is as dry as the centre of the Atacama Desert in Chile. I had this friend of mine, Saffrondude (name changed for no particular reason) telling me that there are certain people whom he just cannot imagine with a girlfriend. The bad news is that I was on that list. The good news is that I was on that list but not at the top of it. Saffrondude, of course, put himself in that list too, so that is something comforting.

This brings me to all these ‘majnus’, who live in my hostel. Whenever I am on my way for my middle of the night trip to the bathroom, I inevitably come across someone or the other belonging to the above mentioned species. These guys will be on the phone for several hours on end. No wonder the cell-phone companies are rolling in cash. What on Earth can you possibly talk about for that much amount of time with a single person sitting hundreds of miles away? And this is not like a once-a- month or even once-a-week affair. It literally happens everyday; you have the same faces loitering the corridors, and even the bathroom with their phones stuck to their ears with a permanent sticking charm. How disconcerting, when you are trying to relieve your about to explode bladder to see a person oscillate from one wall to the other looking as if he is having the time of his life.

I happened to overhear one side of some of these conversations and they were really outrageous. One such friend of mine was saying to his girlfriend, “Aaj tumne kya khaya hai?” How the hell does it matter as long as she wasn’t starving to death? It’s not like he could do anything about it even if she was. Or maybe he’s worried about her losing the stunning figure she has because of which he fell for her in the first place. In either case, it sounds like a pretty stupid thing to talk about at any time let alone in the middle of the night on the phone.

Another friend of mine was overheard saying the following words to his gf : ”KAHAN HO?” The time was 4:00 a.m. Ahem!!!
Where do you expect anyone to be at 4:00 a.m. please? Yes, they may be in the pub or disc till late at night occasionally but certainly not till 4:00 a.m. And how do the girls put up with these questions? I have no idea. No wonder I am loveless.

I’m eagerly waiting for the day when I can proudly say “Kahan Ho?” in the middle of the night. But I fear that day might never come. WHY? Well, it seems to me that girls are impressed by such abysmally stupid statements (or questions) which I do not foresee myself ever uttering. Any girl reading this, please correct me if I’m wrong.

MICE MENACE

Remember those Tom and Jerry cartoons with Tom fruitlessly chasing Jerry around the house. I used to like Jerry till a few of his mates started ransacking my room. Man, these guys will eat anything or drink it for that matter. When was the last time you heard of mice who loved coconut oil? Well, they finished off (or rather drilled a hole through) an entire bottle of my roomie’s ‘parachute’ in August. My roomie is really concerned about his hair. No, not because the mice drank his hair-oil, but generally speaking. He has now got a hair-oil whose bottle is made of glass. Beat that Mr. Mouse. The mice living in the back wing ground-floor of TOPAZ Hostel (ISMU) are really health conscious. They ate up my roomie’s bournvita too. Now we have to deal with ‘really strong’ mice. Ahhh!

Wondering why everything seems to be happening to my roomie. Well, it is perhaps because I had very cleverly taken the top shelf for myself in the beginning of the year, but the mice have learnt a few acrobatics and are now seen walking stealthily on the wires near the ceiling of the corridor. Naturally, entering my shelf is now a piece of cake. And cakes are not the only thing they have eaten from my shelf. There is also bhujia and biscuits. The morons were considerate enough to leave a few pieces for me and I had a good mind to offer it to a senior whom I do not particularly like. I had to eventually throw all these goodies away for the dogs to eat.

I have a feeling the dogs and the mice have had a deal. They are the only mammals existing in our hostel besides us, if you ignore the occasional cow which manages its way in. The mice must have said, “You keep the cats away and we will make sure you have plenty of good things to eat.” As a matter of fact, I have never seen a cat in ISMU, even in my OPAL Hostel days. It must be a universal treaty. As the saying goes, “Your enemy’s enemy is your friend.”

Well, I am at home now for a whole ‘mouse-free’ month or so I hope. The above will make the mouse gods really angry who will submerge me in a large lake of molten cheese in a planet in the ‘vicinity of Betelguese’ (ala Douglas Adams).

An Enigma called GOD

Does god exist? If yes, who/what is he or (for political correctness) she? More importantly, why do we have to worship him? If god is in control, then what are we here for? Are we merely pawns in the hand of some puppet-master controlling the universe?

These are questions whose answers no person has been able to give me. People will state several instances of miracles performed, events which cannot be explained, and even the creation of the universe itself to prove the existence of god. These, I cannot personally accept or deny. There have been great men and women in history whom people have "idolized" (read Ram, Jesus and the like). I have nothing against these people for if the tales told about them are for real then they truly are great beings, whether human or ethereal is not for me to decide.

If we accept for a moment that god actually exists, the point still remains why do we worship the idols or pray to him in whatever manner the different religions choose to? If god is truly omnipresent and is in control of the situation everywhere, how would your prayer affect what many "learned" men say is pre-ordained? Why would god grant you that project if you are a businessman? Why would god give you more marks if you are in school? Why would god grant you whatever you have asked from him? The answer is he won't. You have to go out there and do it yourself. To those who say they gain a mental satisfaction, calmness and a sense of security from it, I say please continue. For others who seek returns, I think you are wasting your time and often your money as well.

Is god so conceited that you have to pray to him to get rewards for things which you do not deserve? And if you actually get those rewards, then that practically proves god is corrupt as well. Such a being is hardly someone who should be worshipped. I do not hold this opinion for I do not believe that god exists but am forced to infer the above on seeing the extravagant prayer ceremonies and rituals that are performed around me. Why do you require a priest to perform rituals? If you are so devout, won't your god listen to you? What are all the complicated ceremonies and verses for (referring purely to Hinduism)? Can't your god understand simple thoughts? It is baffling to see such large sections of society actually following these rituals. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that what is the point doing all this?

This blog is not so much about the existence of god as it is about all the lunacy associated with his worship. I sincerely hope, for the sake of millions of devotees that he exists, otherwise all their efforts will be in vain. As for me, I'll continue to rack my brains trying to figure out what exactly these people are trying to achieve.