I am really tired after a nice get-together with my friends from school. Unfortunately, these get-togethers generally tend to be revolved around all of us running about after a spherical shaped object and trying to put it through a rectangular bar with our feet. I don’t see any point in it but enjoy it nevertheless. These get-togethers also give us the opportunity to catch up with what is going on in each other’s lives. Who’s been ditched by his girlfriend? Who has fallen in love? And who has someone trying to nick his gf?
I feel pretty left-out during these instances as my love life is as dry as the centre of the Atacama Desert in Chile. I had this friend of mine, Saffrondude (name changed for no particular reason) telling me that there are certain people whom he just cannot imagine with a girlfriend. The bad news is that I was on that list. The good news is that I was on that list but not at the top of it. Saffrondude, of course, put himself in that list too, so that is something comforting.
This brings me to all these ‘majnus’, who live in my hostel. Whenever I am on my way for my middle of the night trip to the bathroom, I inevitably come across someone or the other belonging to the above mentioned species. These guys will be on the phone for several hours on end. No wonder the cell-phone companies are rolling in cash. What on Earth can you possibly talk about for that much amount of time with a single person sitting hundreds of miles away? And this is not like a once-a- month or even once-a-week affair. It literally happens everyday; you have the same faces loitering the corridors, and even the bathroom with their phones stuck to their ears with a permanent sticking charm. How disconcerting, when you are trying to relieve your about to explode bladder to see a person oscillate from one wall to the other looking as if he is having the time of his life.
I happened to overhear one side of some of these conversations and they were really outrageous. One such friend of mine was saying to his girlfriend, “Aaj tumne kya khaya hai?” How the hell does it matter as long as she wasn’t starving to death? It’s not like he could do anything about it even if she was. Or maybe he’s worried about her losing the stunning figure she has because of which he fell for her in the first place. In either case, it sounds like a pretty stupid thing to talk about at any time let alone in the middle of the night on the phone.
Another friend of mine was overheard saying the following words to his gf : ”KAHAN HO?” The time was 4:00 a.m. Ahem!!!
Where do you expect anyone to be at 4:00 a.m. please? Yes, they may be in the pub or disc till late at night occasionally but certainly not till 4:00 a.m. And how do the girls put up with these questions? I have no idea. No wonder I am loveless.
I’m eagerly waiting for the day when I can proudly say “Kahan Ho?” in the middle of the night. But I fear that day might never come. WHY? Well, it seems to me that girls are impressed by such abysmally stupid statements (or questions) which I do not foresee myself ever uttering. Any girl reading this, please correct me if I’m wrong.