Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Blind Date!!!

(After a lot of contemplation, I am posting this, two weeks after the actual incident. Please do not mind the delay. :-)

I went on a ‘blind’ date on my birthday. Unfortunately was ‘dumb and deaf’ too, so the two of us ended up not saying anything to each other. The presence of two other blind-daters on the same table was also annoying and completely baffled me. The whole point of going on a date was dismissed. It was boring to say the least. No offence meant to the other two people, but why didn’t you sit on another table? The whole place was empty. And why didn’t my date and I use my head as well? Guess I just go blank on dates as you will come to know if you read on (girls might think I am retarded). Mera kuch nahi ho sakta!

Random Observations Part I:

  1. None of us spoke anything remotely close to what is expected to be spoken on a date. I may be wrong. The three more experienced people, who were sitting on the same table, please correct me if I am. Wait! Yeah, we did talk about how it all started with the actual people we are committed to. As you might have guessed by now, I had nothing to contribute on this topic. So I drank lots of water.
  2. The food was terrible. Why can’t everyone eat non-veg?
  3. On one occasion, the other three people sitting on the table were all playing with their respective glasses. I followed suit. Allan Pease, expert on body language, says “Fondling a Cylindrical Object” is a sign that one finds someone around him/her interesting. Now who found who interesting in a group of four is anybody’s guess. More on body language later.
  4. There was some dispute over who is paying the bill. The other guy insisted that he pay and the girls insisted that they would pay half of it and put two hundred bucks on the table. A small skirmish was imminent. Someone (that’s me) saved the day by commenting that “table se paise hata do, nahi toh waiter tip samajh ke le jaayega”. That’s called managerial skill - calming down people and saving your money in the process.
Next in line was a trip to CCD where we ran into two more blind date couples. They looked like they had more fun than us, probably because they were alone with their respective dates.

Random Observations Part II:

  1. After having had my a** kicked a few million times in the previous two days (birthday), I was thumped on the back by a girl who looks a lot like a teddy bear.
  2. Allan Pease also says that “when a man/woman finds a person of the opposite sex interesting their foot/ knee points towards them. On this occasion, legs were pointed in all sorts of directions, so it was difficult to judge.
  3. Each of the couples was asked to do something.
  • The first sang ‘Pehla Nasha...’ and then smeared pizza on each other.
  • The second and third did something I can’t remember.
  • My date was asked to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. How silly! She had already done that. I was asked to sing something back. Couldn’t think of anything. Should have sang something romantic.
    Instead I sang: “Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai...”, which is exactly what I felt at that moment.
    Then I was asked to feed chocolate to my date, which was easy.
    Ohh! The things people come up with.
4.I did not pay anything at any point of the ‘date’, which was good.
The auto-wallah took eighty rupees while returning, which I felt was too much.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Chronicles of the Library...

"... and the most happening place in the campus is - THE LIBRARY."
Well, it is true at this point of time at least. Everyone seems to be flocking there. So I too joined the crowd. I have been unaccustomed to the library environment for a few months now, so it took me some time to adjust. Yesterday, I actually spent five hours studying four pages there. Hence, I had decided that no matter what I would study like a 'dog' today. But, my mind had other ideas. Here is what happened in the one hour I actually sat there. (Imagine a conversation between ME and Me, like you know, when you talk to yourself, silently.)

ME: Shit! Everyone is studying like a dog!
Study! Study! Study!

'Seismic Data Acquisition is one stage of a multi-stage process known as
Seismic Surveying. Other stages include...'

(Ten Minutes later)

ME: There is too much noise here. Where is it coming from? (I look around.)
How the hell is the tube-light making noise? Isn't it supposed to give light
instead? Someone switch it off.

Me: Time to unleash the earphones. Block out the noise with some melody.

Song: "अरे यारों दोस्ती बड़ी ही हसीं है..."

ME: Yeah. Good Song.

'Modern Data Acquisition is basically Imaging of the Earth and consists of
following steps...'

(Fifteen minutes down the line)

ME: Why do those two always sit together?

Me: Because they are a couple dumbo. You know, like love and stuff.

ME: Ohhh! But they aren't studying at all. Why sit in the library then? Taking up
precious seats.

Me: Who cares? You got one, didn't you?

ME: Yeah.

Song Changes:"वोह पहली बार जब हम मिले,
हाथों में हाथ जब हम चले..."

(And my mind starts wandering towards 'other' things.)

Me: Hello! Come back to Earth!
Concentrate! Concentrate! Change the song.

ME: Okay.

Song: On Sacred Ground (by Yanni)

Me: That is more like it. Now study.

'Single impulsive point sources cannot efficiently produce enough seismic
energy needed to image deeper targets well... ' (Studied for 15 minutes)

ME: This place is so crowded. All because of the country's population.

(And then, for some strange reason, I remembered a Biology period in Class X.
Sir was teaching about sex, contraceptives and stuff.)

SIR: "One of the reasons for the population explosion in rural areas is the fact
that in really remote places, people do not have access to any other source
of entertainment."

ME: Hmmm. We need a multiplex in Dhanbad. Pronto!

Me: Cut the crap! Study!

(Power Cut)

ME: Yessss!

(Power returns)

ME: Shit!

Me: Let's go back. You are wasting your time here.

ME: I agree.

(And back I came and wrote this piece of nonsense. I have exams from Monday!)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Grow Up Kid

“Familiarity breeds Contempt.”

This is what I have learnt the hard way in the last two weeks. The guilty party, of course, was me. I have hurt / disappointed two good friends because I had, perhaps, taken them for granted. I might have also shown a certain level of immaturity and insensitivity. I AM SORRY.

I don’t know why but thinking straight just seems like an impossible task nowadays. My mind, though not in turmoil, is scrambled and is meandering around. I need to focus at the task in hand and think of the consequences/effects before doing something. I NEED TO GROW UP.

On a lighter note, Saturday was my birthday which meant sitting down was the most challenging thing in the world. Something which may sound interesting happened on my birthday. I went on a ‘blind’ date, part of an entourage of four blind-date couples. I shall avoid the specifics.