Main pyar mein pagal ho gaya hun!

“Main pyar mein pagal ho gaya hun!
Maine faltu mein MD join kar liya.
Mujhe MD nahi join karna chahiye tha.
Main pata nahi kya kya likhte rehta hun,
Yeh log mujhe paise bhi nahi dete hain.”

This is what I had apparently spoken in my sleep yesterday, when Hims had come to my room in the night. The fact that I do not remember a word of the above does not convince anybody that I did not say it. Now, assuming I did utter these words, let’s analyze what would have made me say it.

First of all, I do not think that the first line has anything to do with the other four lines; though I have been told that they were continuous. The last four lines have probably stemmed out of the fact that I have been doing a lot of writing (letters etc.) recently for an on-going campaign. (Mailer Daemon a.k.a. MD, by the way, is the in-campus students’ newspaper and I am proud to be part of it.) I seriously don’t know where the money part came from.

Moving on to the more interesting first line of the monologue, there are several hypotheses being proposed. Here is a small selection.

1. I am actually madly in love!
With whom? My friends obviously think this is actually the case. Can someone be so special that I speak such things in my sleep? I doubt it.

2. I was having a really romantic dream.
This is the more plausible explanation for whatever I apparently said. I was the protagonist of the story and I was madly in love with this imaginary girl.

3. I am very frustrated at not having a girlfriend and have become mad.
This calls for an appointment with the psychiatrist who now sits in the Health Centre on Thursdays. Anyway, blabbering anything in my sleep is reason enough for a visit. These lines only make it more necessary.

4. There is some link between the first line and the rest of it. I have no idea how people came to that conclusion. But, there was a fair amount of debate why these two contrasting things were said together. I think I finally convinced them that it was a mere co-incidence and that the two things are light years apart and have no relation whatsoever.


What disturbs me is the fact that if this continues then there shall be no aspect of my life that shall be hidden from people. I, on the other hand, would like to keep my secrets as secrets in the future. It is always nice to have some secrets. It makes you enigmatic.

P.S. If anyone has any other hypothesis to explain this event, I urge him/her to comment.

The Tea Conundrum

I have never had tea in my life (or for that matter, coffee too). In the last few weeks, I have had two experiences when things could have become embarrassing. On Friendship Day, nine of my friends tried to force me to have a sip of Espresso. I did not relent. On another occasion, when six of us had visited an alumnus, he offered us tea. I forced DD to have my cup.

How much is this fact going to cost me in the future? Taking into account the dearth of any kind of romantic relationship in my life, my parents are sure to ask me to go and “see a girl” at some point in the future. What am I supposed to answer to my future mother-in-law when she offers me tea? “Nahi, dhanyawaad. Main Chai nahi peeta. Doodh chalega!” How silly would that sound? She’ll never agree to let her daughter marry me.

I haven’t really understood why I don’t drink tea or coffee. The most plausible reason I can think of is that I must have burnt my fingers touching a hot kettle of tea when I was a kid. Genetically speaking, I should have bucket-fulls of tea everyday because that is what my mother has. On the contrary, I have never had a sip and I intend to keep it that way for a while.

Gori Teri Aankhein Kahen

Thanks to Saffrondude, I have been tagged. So here goes...

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your iTunes/Ipod/Music Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG TITLE DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy answering these questions as well as the person who tagged you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Dil Chahta Hai

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Silent Night

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Bhool Bhoolaiya

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Braveheart-Theme

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Tujh mein Rab Dikhta Hai

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Aaja Mahi Ve

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Irresistible
(They do??? Given that Article 377 of the Indian constitution has been amended, I am in trouble.)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Sajna Aa bhi Jaa
(Boy, this is getting serious)

WHAT IS 2+2?
Fashion ka Jalwa

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
To Moon and Back
(Yeah, he definitely has alienesque characteristics)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Kehna hi kya
(Absolutely true.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
But it rained
(Aur sab bheeg gaya)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Wishing Well
(Yeah, that's my life's ambition all right.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Maaeri
(No way.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Like Toy Soldiers

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Barbie Girl
(What's this doing in my playlist???)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
We are going to Ibiza.
(Ibiza=Heaven you see)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Shape of my Heart
(Hmmm...)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
It must have been love
(Couldn't agree more)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Dhadak Dhadak

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Where's the Party Tonight?
(I am invited to a party but I don't know where it is?)


HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Zara Nazar Utha ke Dekho
(Your eyes emit laser beams?)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
You Know my Name
(lmao... this is funny...)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Points of Authority

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Nayan Tarse
(Appropriate... my laptop can read my mind ... :D)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Careless Whisper
(Is that a NO?)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Ek ho gaye hum aur tum
(The answer to previous question is now definitely NO.)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Fanaa
(Hi Fanaa. I'm waiting for you.)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Call of the Tribes
(Yeah definitely, they needed to be more groovy.)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Crazy Frog
(Yeah! It's making me insane.)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Gori Teri Aankhein Kahen

P.S. This was hilarious. If you are reading this you are tagged and must try it out.

A Rocking Year

The past year has been one of the most eventful ones for me personally. I had expected 3rd year of college to be a rigorous battle against time and to be frank it has been far from so. The year was ‘especially special’ because this has been the year in which I have travelled farther and wider than I had ever before. Here is a small list of events which were close to my heart (not necessarily in any particular order.)

Tata Jagriti Yatra (Dec 24 - Jan 11)
This was probably the most amazing thing that has happened to me till date. An 18-day journey on a train with 300 odd strangers from around the country who are now friends or at the very least acquaintances. The journey took me to parts of the country which I had never been to and which perhaps I would never have, had it not been for the ‘yatra’.

As the organizers had informed us beforehand, this wasn’t a joyride and in fact I probably learned more in this trip than I had in my previous two years in college albeit in an entirely different field. The journey was inspirational and I certainly hope that the spirit of the ‘yatra’ which is still alive in me remains so for the rest of my life.


The biggest change to come out of the yatra for me is that I have started looking at my career and life as a whole beyond the realms of the technical education which ISMU provides. There’s a whole wide world out there full of opportunities and although I may end up taking up a job which 5 ‘fruitful’ years at ISMU will hopefully give me, I won’t shy away from challenges and interesting opportunities which life shall present before me.

Besides all the gyan on entrepreneurship (both financial and social), I must say I had a lot of fun and some of the places we went to were really exotic. Add to this the fact that all of this was sponsored. Can you beat that? Last but not least a big THANK YOU to Su for having told me about the ‘Jagriti Yatra’ in the first place.

Trip to Sikkim and Darjeeling (Nov 25 – Dec 2)




Having written a post on this already, I shall not elaborate much on this except that this is one trip I am going to remember for the rest of my life.




Matters of the Heart
2008 was the year I fell in love for the first time. Okay, it didn’t work out and I had to force myself to fall out of love! But as they say, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

Lots of new friends
I have made a lot of new friends this year. Till the beginning of this year, I knew these people only by name or their faces and in some cases (like TJY), not even that. Now, we are the best of friends and hope to remain so for a long time. I have started socializing more, something my mother was really concerned about that I am a sort of an “unsocial creature”, who did not like to mingle with people.

Add to this the fact that I have done pretty decently in my academics and everything seems really rosy, doesn’t it? So, as another year of college is about to begin in a few weeks, I wish that it is as eventful and fruitful as this one.

P.S. Shit!!! I am in fourth year. I don’t feel like one. Always thought of them as really mature and full of experience and advice. I don’t feel any of those things.

First two weeks at Bangalore

The first five days at Bangalore, where I have come for my training, have been to put it mildly, “interesting”. Not to mention, the journey till here was also an experience on its own. I had taken a train till Hyderabad before boarding another for Bangalore. The first half was a standard train journey for me. Set up a nest on the upper birth and stay there for the entire journey coming down only when nature called . I even had my food at the top. The first part of this ride was harrowingly uncomfortable because of the heat.

Now, there was a 10-hour gap between the two trains and among the multitude of options I had of places to visit and people to meet in Hyderabad, I chose to spend the time in Secunderabad station itself. Bad decision! To start off, I kept all my luggage (except my laptop) in the cloak room there. I was lucky as apparently five minutes later it was filled to the brim and they did not accept any more luggage. After this, I had decided to hav some food and had a Onion Uttapam. Next on the list was the need to take a bath. They had dormitories for Rs.50 upstairs but they were all filled and anything else was too expensive for my liking. So, I was left with no choice but to use the bathrooms at the station. The problem was i had a laptop with me and nowhere to keep it at. This was when I did one of the boldest things anyone with a laptop would do. I kept it at the table of the guy who was taking the money for using the bathroom and went in to have a bath. Call me a carefree person or what. Thankfully, when Ireturned the bag and the laptop was still there and I was no longer sticky with sweat. The next 5 hours were full of boredome. I got so bored that I endeed up opening my laptop and watched 3 episodes of the “Big Bang Theory”, just another audacious little thing to do in a fairly crowded station. Finally, the time came for me to board my train, which was a relief. Reached Bangalore safe and sound.

Alwar's dad , who is working here, had very kindly agreed to let me stay with him till I found a PG for myself. The challenge was finding his home which apparently was in some obscure location in Bangalore.. I scouted around for a bus at the 'Majestic' bus-stop and finally got one whose conductor said that the bus indeed went to “Whitefield” (where I had to go). Here I must mention something about the buses of Bangalore. The air-conditioned 'Vajra' buses are a class apart and better than any I had ever seen anywhere in India. However, the other ones are pretty awesome too and are pretty regular. The conductors have a unique whistle to signal to the drivers when to stop and start the bus. This means if you can’t whistle with your lips then you can’t become a Bangalore bus conductor. Anyway, getting back to the point, I was asked to debus at Sathya Sai Hospital which I had told the conductor as the landmark for my destination. Ironically, this was not the hospital I was looking for and was much much larger than the Sathya Sai General Hospital which I had to go to. Reaching there took me another 45 minutes and two bus rides.

Having freshened up, I then took a bus to National Aerospace Labs (NAL) for some paperwork I had to complete. Man, this place is a fortress. No mobiles allowed inside, security checks everywhere. You would imagine there is some national treasure or some ground-breaking technology being developed somewhere here. All formalities done, I went to the security office for having my ID card issued. I was most impressed by this procedure. I was asked to sit at a chair and was told to smile. I did not know why but I smiled anyway. There was a flash somewhere and 10 seconds later emerged a yellow coloured piece of paper not larger than a visiting card. It had my photo on it, my name, my college’s name, the division I was assigned to and the date till which it was valid. It was my ID card here. If only all government institutions worked with this efficiency, we would save millions in money and time.

It took me all of four days to find a suitable PG accomodation and in the process I used to walk as much as 8-9 kilometres a day. One particular day, I simply went through the roof (or if i may say, through the wall) with my walking. I walked more than 15 kilometres at one go, at least i assume i must have walked that much given that I walked for over 2 hours. Finally, I bid Alwar’s dad goodbye. I must have caused him some amount of inconvenience and for that I am really thankful to him for bearing with me for 5 whole days and taking care of me during that period. The last weekend was spent lying around getting accustomed to the surroundings. Hims dropped in on Sunday before he moved to a senior’s home during his stay here. We ran into a senior from college who had graduated a year ago at a mall and hence were assured of a free dinner. SJ too came over on Monday. We will be room-mates for the rest of our stay here.

Since then I have sort of fallen into a schedule. Leave for NAL at around 9, do whatever work I can do over there, return at 5 or maybe later. I hope working life would be more interesting than this. I’ll be free for the weekend which starts in a few hours. Plans to visit a few seniors and Nilu is also coming. There is also this conference lined up at NAL, which I might attend, but in all probability leisure will gain precedence over work.

P.S. I have really loved the bit of Bangalore that I have seen. Really well-organized, awesome weather, great transport system, lots of malls and lots of pretty girls. If I am given a choice as to where I want to be three years from now, Bangalore would be somewhere near the top of that list.

P.P.S. I have drafted a plan of all foreseeable expenses during my stay here. I have also allotted a certain amount for unforeseen expenditures such as splurging on enjoyable activities. Hope what I have allotted suffices.

Opening up my Inbox

Over the past few years, the use of SMS has become really useful in informing people about things in a clear and subtle way. However, my cell phone has been flooded with SMSs which have no relevant information in them but rather convey what the sender is feeling or at best contains a joke. Surprisingly, it is the same people who keep sending me these messages. What is even more disturbing is the fact that I actually end up keeping these messages in my inbox while deleting the once with any semblance of information in them. So let’s see what people have had to say since the beginning of this year. A chosen few from my inbox ... (What I thought about them are within brackets)

From S1’s mobile

·         The hardest part of missing friends isn’t their absence but it’s when you think of all the good times you’ve shared and ask yourself, “Will those moments ever happen again?”

Sent: Jan 7, 2009 19:29.
(Awww... Cho Chweet! Well, obvious;y those moments will never happen again.)

·         What is education?
It is an organized system through which we waste half our life learning how to waste the rest of our life.

Sent: Jan 8,2009 19:40.
(Very True. But you sent it to the wrong person. I can’t do anything about it.)

·         Dua hai meri:
Jo mujhe bhool jaye, Uska mobile tut jaye, charger jal jaye, SIM lock ho jaye, SMS fail ho jaye aur uska Local call par bhi Roaming lag jaye.
Sent: Jan 11, 2009 16:29.
(How considerate!)

·         Imagine world without girls: Galiyan Sunsan, College Viran, Duniya pareshan, Tanha Insaan, Na Jaanu Na Jaan, Har taraf bas Karan Johar aur Jai Hanuman.
Sent: Jan 14, 2009 15:08.

·         Being a good person is like being a goal keeper. No matter how many goals you save, it is the ones that you missed that people will remember. That’s the truth of life.
Sent: Jan 17, 2009 22:22.
(WOW! Now this guy has turned philosopher. All that we needed.)

·         Two lovers planned to commit SUICIDE. Boy jumps first. Girl closes her eyes and returns back saying ‘Love is Blind.’ Boy in air opens his parachute and says, ‘Love never Dies.’
Sent: Apr 5, 2009 19:39.
(Smooth, very smooth.)

·         After 12^th, in CET only one question was asked:
Fill in the blanks- If a girl faints, we must first touch her PU_S_.
Those who wrote PULSE got Medical, all others Engineering
Sent: Apr 7, 2009 12:30.
(If only JEE was like that...)

·         Teacher to Johnny: If there were 5 birds on a fence and you shot one, how many are left?
Johnny: None, as others will fly away.
Teacher: The answer is 4, but I like the way you think.
Johnny: I have a question ma’am. If 3 women were eating ice cream, 1 licking, 1 biting and 1 sucking, which is married?
Teacher (sweating and nervous): The one sucking the ice cream.
Johnny: No, you are wrong. The one with the wedding ring. But I like the way you think, ma’am.
Sent: Apr 13, 2009 18:49.
(Ha ha ha ha ha)

 

What S2 has to say

·         Silence doesn’t mean I’m gone. Quiet doesn’t mean I’m dead. Being with others doesn’t mean I forgot you. Deep in my heart, anywhere, anytime, you are always Remembered and Cared.
Sent: Feb 3, 2009 14:36.
(Really? Is that what you do all day?
 And if you are reading this, don’t get me wrong, but you send this to someone you love or have a serious crush on, not friends.)

·         Sometimes in life we run so fast, we don’t notice anyone running with us. We notice them only we fall and they stop and come to pick us up. They are called friends.
Sent: Mar 23, 2009 22:10.
(Why are we running??? What does the winner get?)

·         Ek din zindagi aise mukaam pe pahunch jayegi, dosti toh sirf yaadon mein reh jaayegi, har cup coffee yaad doston ki dilayegi, aur haste haste phir aankhein nam ho jayegi. Office ke chamber mein classroom nazar aayegi, par chahne pe bhi proxy nahi lag payegi. Paisa to bahut hoga, magar unhe lutane ki wajah hi kho jayegi. Jee lo khulke is pal ko mere dost kyunki zindagi in palo ko phir se nahi dohrayegi!
Sent: Mar 30, 2009 23:56.
(Sob! Almost made me cry. Sniff! Sob!)

·         It starts with a ‘hi’, changes to ‘wassup?’, grows to ‘oye batana’, tends to ‘pagal apna dimaag mat chala, jaisa main kahoon waisa kar’ and never ends... thats friendship.
Sent: Apr 26, 2009 02:07.

(Nice)

 

Thoughts of S3

·         Friendship is not how you forget, but how you forgive; not how you listen but how you understand; not what you see but how you feel; not how you let go but how you hold on.
Sent: Feb 6, 2009 01:41.
(Lecture on friendship at 2 a.m. when I might add, I’m sleeping. Thank you!)

·         The one who holds your hand every time you need support is surely a good friend But a best friend is one who holds your hand more tightly when you say “Leave me alone.”
Sent: Mar 26, 2009 01:01.
(Interesting thought. But wouldn’t you call it intruding into your private life? Oh btw, does this mean we are best friends?)

·         People meet by coincidence, they spend sweet time together, then God separates them, not to end the story but to see how much they remember each other.
Sent: Apr 19, 2009 01:22.
(Awww. Senti at 1:30 a.m. And so cruel of ‘God’. Its pitiful.)

·         A lot of ants were roaming around my phone. I was wondering how come. Then I suddenly realised that my phone contains contact of a very sweet person and it’s you.
Sent: Apr 23, 2009 01:46.
(Wait! What was that? Is she hitting on me? [Pondered for a while]... Naa... its only “S3” ... besides when you hit on a boy, you definitely don’t call him ‘sweet’)

·         It’s difficult to wait for someone, it’s difficult to forget someone but the most difficult thing is to decide whether to wait or forget someone.
Sent: Apr 27, 2009 23:17.
(I am confused. What is she thinking? Why do you want to forget people? And more importantly, people are not buses that you wait for them. Also, the same thoughts as previous SMS did cross my mind.)

 

S4’s stock

·         There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep and Good _uck. Both the things you are thinking about are right. J
Sent: Feb 5, 2009 16:46.
(Hee hee hee! Awesome! Worth a Gtalk status message)

·         One fine day, all of us will get busy with our lives, long working hours, No discussions about GFs, BFs... Won’t have time for ourselves... On such a day you’ll look outside the window and see all the good old memories flash by you and you’ll get a smile with tears in your eyes and you’ll get back to work, wishing you could go back!!! Hello to one such special person who helped create such unforgettable memories.
Sent: Apr 26, 2009 22:27.
(Why does everyone want to make me cry???)

S5 speaks

·         Listen and Silent are two words with the same letters and are very important for friendship because only a friend can listen to you when you are silent.
Sent: Mar 8, 2009 04:40.
(I can hear you loud and clear. Now you try to decipher my silence. I am screaming: “Woman, it’s 4 a.m.!”)

·         Well-wishers are like walls of home. Sometimes they hold you. Sometimes you lean on them. And sometimes it’s just enough to know that they are around.
Sent: Apr 26, 2009 22:16.
(Wish me well)

·         Life sometimes becomes so selfish that it wants everything. But while trying for everything, we miss something that is worth everything.
Sent: May 8, 2009 10:51.

PS This list does not include the annoying SMSs my service provider keeps sending me every few hours.

PPS A few days ago I got this amazing SMS which goes like this -

“Kabhi yeh mat socho ki tumhare girlfriend (or in the case of girls ‘boyfriend) ne tumhein kitna romantic SMS bheja hai. Hamesha yeh socho ki use kisne bheja hoga.”

Bet I’ve got all you lovers thinking, haven’t I?

PPPS If you are wondering whether I get SMSs from only 5 sources, well no. There are quite a few other random individual senders, but the number of SMSs they send are few and far in between to make a list.

Getting your Hands Dirty

Politics in the eyes of the average Indian youth is a dirty term. Today, it has almost become synonymous with corruption. The consensus among the youth today is ‘All politicians are corrupt’ (and in some cases immoral criminals.) While this is not entirely true, none of our leaders are people who evoke respect. Wait! Did I just use the word ‘leaders’?

This is what we are lacking most in our democracy- leaders, who can be followed, who can be emulated and who have a vision for the nation. A population of over 600 million under the age of 25 and no leaders to guide us.

The General Elections or more precisely ‘The Great Indian Political Drama’ is just around the corner. How can we contribute towards it? The obvious answer is to make it a point to go out and VOTE. This is not a right, it’s a duty. If you do not vote, you hardly have any right to question or criticize the government. Moreover, it is perhaps more important to vote the right people to power. For long, people of our country have voted for parties. This must change. We must vote for the most able candidates to represent us, irrespective of which party they belong to. A leader dedicated to the welfare of the people of his constituency will work well regardless of the party he is affiliated to. On the other hand, an incapable politician can bring about no progress even if he belongs to the most powerful party.

On a different note, in subsequent years, what we need most is greater participation of the youth in the running of the country. Thousands of bright, young people graduate from the premier institutes of the nation. How many of them play an active role in running the country? The fact is nobody wants to get their hands “dirty”. Take the case of the hundreds of MBA graduates from the elite IIMs. Some of the best minds in the country, no doubt, and yet they are employed to ‘sell shampoo sachets’.

It is time we, the youth of the nation, take up the baton for running the country. The so-called “stalwarts” of Indian politics have done their job and need a rest. It is up to us to bring about change, to iron out the flaws and take India to the heights it deserves. It is time we ‘be the change we want to see’.

A few of Life’s Lessons Learnt

The last week or so has taught me a few things. Hopefully, I shall not forget them later on. In addition, I have also learnt a few things about me, which I need to rectify or work upon.

•  Do not have expectations from anybody. The more you expect from somebody, the more you are likely to be disappointed. This includes whoever you call your best friends. Perhaps the only people whom you can expect things from are your parents, offsprings and spouse/lover.

• Money is important in life, even if it isn’t everything. While it’s true that money isn’t everything, lack of it will bring unnecessary worries. Taking debts is not desirable. You sort of become obliged to the other person. That’s a bad situation to be in.

• Be more caring of people around you (especially when they are in trouble or are sick). If you care for someone, you need to show it. Outward show of concern is important even if you are not going to be of any particular help to the other person. Go meet them and say words of sympathy. Otherwise, they will think you do not care about them. 

•            Stop being jealous of every Tom, Dick and Harry.  What someone else has done or achieved is his/her accomplishment. Congratulate them and move on. Don’t brood over “Why didn’t I do it?”; “Why is life so unfair?”; “Is he/she really better than me?”

      Instead, concentrate on what you can do, what you can achieve and what you are good at.

•         Communicate what you feel. If you have something on your mind, speak it out. You cannot expect the other person to understand you by just looking at your face. If you can’t say it, just stop thinking about it; it is just a waste of time. 

21 and Single

“Why are you so restless these days?” asked a friend recently. How can you be calm and composed when there are a few shitty metal bands performing in front of you? (It was our college fest.) Anyway, the reason why this comment was made was because I was loitering around in the ground aimlessly, and might I add, alone.

To be honest, I had not realized it till I was told about it. And then I read somewhere how pitiful it was to be “21 and single”. It was then that I realised the cause of my restlessness, at least I think it was the reason. There were some couples around on the given day and there was no dearth of PDA (Public Display of Affection). I have nothing against PDA personally but it sort of drives home the fact that you are ‘you know what’ when it is done right on your face.

What is it actually like to be “21 and single”? Let’s analyze.

Pros

•The same friend mentioned above had earlier said, “It’s cool to be single. Then, you can roam about with anyone you want without any eyebrows being raised.”
•You are a free bird. Do what you want as there are neither restrictions nor bodyguards (usually for girls).
•You can flirt with anyone you want.
•There's no such thing as an argument. After all you need someone to argue with.
•You can freely expand your social circle.
•You save tons of money which you would have spent on stuff like gifts(flowers, jewellery and the like), dinners etc.

Cons

•When you see other couples getting all mushy, you go “Why? Why? Why can’t I get hold of that love potion they show in cartoons?”
•When you happen to meet some beautiful person who happens to not be available, you're faced with morally repugnant possibilities and are in a state of confusion.
•It gets kind of lonely at times. But then, don’t forget you are in a crowd.
•You have to hunt for dates for parties and special occasions.
•You wonder why no one gives you any gifts. “I want a teddy bear.”
•You tend to lose self-confidence. You end up thinking you are useless, boring and millions of other negative things.
•When the teacher teaches about 'Single Couple' mechanism in Seismology, you go like, “What the f**k is that supposed to mean?


And finally, it is that classic joke to console yourself.

Pessimist: Teen saal college ke baad maine ek bhi ladki nahi patayi.

Optimist: Teen saal college ke baad mujhe ek bhi ladki nahi pata payi. 

Friends... who? where? when?

It’s exam time again, so as has been my habit I have come up with another useless, thoughtless post.

Are friends really what we think friends are? With the possible exception of a parent-offspring relationship, isn’t it always the case in any relationship when we ask (usually subconsciously), “What’s in it for me?” If we analyze carefully, our closest friends are generally those with whom we have some business (not necessarily monetary) and from whom we can gain something. While I was scathingly sceptical when DD said this a couple of weeks ago, I am beginning to see his point. His opinion was, “You call a person your friend when you have some purpose or business with him/her. There are no friends, just collaborators.” I do not at all agree with what he said but the question still arose in my mind, “How many of all those whom I consider as friends are actually going to stand by me when the need comes? What purpose am I serving them? Only time will tell.” Meanwhile, I shall remain the same, dumb, unexploitative person.

In a way, friendship is a crude form of a savings account. You help out a person so that one day he/she would also help you out when you need it. In fact, in most cases, he/she is obliged to do so unless it is one of those sly foxes who forget you once the job is done.

It is not like it is a bad thing. To have some amount of selfishness, is in my opinion, not wrong at all. When opportunity comes knocking, there are no friends or foes, just competitors. So think about it. Are you a friend or a collaborator?

I would like to end with the thought that the term ‘true friend’ is misplaced. What is a true friend supposed to mean? All those qualities which we expect from a ‘true friend’ should be there in a friend itself, otherwise he/she is not a friend at all.

A fiery V-Day

I spent Valentine’s Day 2009 in the most unique fashion – roaming about coal fields in the Jharia area. We saw coal burning by itself beneath the ground. What a waste of resources. ‘Burning desires of love’ is how a friend described it. The place is high on the list of places where I would never take a girl out for a date, other notable locations on the list being a five-star restaurant (unless she is paying), a lion’s den, and Jupiter. Seriously, the sight was straight out of one of those sci-fi Hollywood movies where the characters land on a deserted alien planet or one of those which show what the Earth would look like after doom’s day.

Smoke was billowing out of the cracks in the ground as if the Earth was having a humongous cigar. And they talk about reducing greenhouse gases. Hell would not look much different. There were abandoned homes all around, what with all the pollution and walls collapsing because of subsidence and mine fires, the place was absolutely inhabitable.

After our return, it took me about an hour to get all the coal dust off me. Had a three hour nap after that, my first during the day in several years. This is one Valentine’s Day I shall remember for a long time. At least I had a hands-on experience of how bad the situation in the mines in Jharia really is. Otherwise, I would have just lazed around in my room wondering why my love life is blank while everyone else is all mushy-mushy today. It’s a ploy to make all single people feel like jerks. What is someone who does not have a Valentine supposed to do? I have a feeling all the protests against V-day has some of its roots in this fact. After all, why would someone protest if he had someone by his/her side who really loved him/her? Think about it.

Dastaan-e-Gangtok

First of all, I must apologize for the huge delay, because the trip in question happened way back in the end of November. However, due to foreseen avoidable circumstances, this blog has been dormant for a while. But as they say: “Better late than never”. So here goes.

A few minor details before we get down to the actual trip.

Q. Where did we go?  

A. Sikkim, Darjeeling.

Q. When?

A. Nov 26 – Dec 02, 2008 A.D.

Q. How many people went?  

A. TEN.

Q. Who went?

A. 10 sample pieces from ISM University. 5 were females and 5 were males. 

The Cast

Starring: Everyone below 

(As Saffrondude mentioned in one of his blogs, I do not know whether it is ethical to mention anyone’s names without asking them, so I don’t)

DD aka ‘the cowboy’ [aka=also known as]

Su & Su

What's in a name? 

Wiz

Alwin

Ritz

A Nishachar Prani (NP)

Swat Cat (SC). 

Yours truly, Sid.

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STOP RIGHT THERE! I know what you are thinking. 5 boys, 5 girls... hmmm... daal mein kuch kala hai!

So, let’s break it up here before you start imagining things, though I must admit some fools had actually paired us all up, but that does not count, does it? I shall repeat the same clichéd phrase: “We are friends only.”

Anyway, getting back to the actual trip, we left Dhanbad on the evening of November 26 for Burdwan from where we had a connecting train to New Jalpaiguri. Now, one of the benefits of travelling with girls is that you never have to worry about food, like in this case they had brought some parathas and stuff from their hostel. How considerate. We had about two hours to spend at Burdwan so some of us went to Big Bazaar and bought a smiley ball. 

In the train, We made sure that people near us also stayed awake while we played cards and had impromptu photo sessions in crazy poses. 

From NJP, we took an SUV for Gangtok after about an hour of negotiations over the prices. This journey was full of people throwing up at every turn and jerk. Only half the contingent was unaffected by it. Anyway, four hours later we were in Gangtok occupying four hotel rooms in what I must mention was an excellent hotel at a reasonable price. Special thanks from all of us to Zico for booking it for us.  

Daily Dossier 

(Disclaimer: You may skip this section, if you are not interested in the intricate details of our trip)

Day 1 basically passed by in settling down and exploring the areas around our hotel. M.G. Marg was all we could visit. Nice clean, wide roads with souvenir shops all around. We took a shortcut to M.G. Marg, which was about 2 km long and had an average upward inclination of about 45 degrees. 

Su spent the evening arranging for passes for all of us to Nathula through his contacts in the army.

Day 2

Places Visited: Nathula (Altitude:14200 feet), Baba Mandir(Altitude:13000 feet), Tsomgo/Tchangu lake. 

How often do you get the chance to visit the Indo-Chinese border and shake hands with a real life Chinese soldier (who, I thought looked really sly). Well, that's what we did when we visited Nathula, with the Indian Army's checkpost not too far off. We also had the privilege of meeting a few of our brave jawans protecting our borders. We even had snacks and some coffee at the place at Cafe 14000, bought some souvenirs and received a certificate of our visit to that height. It is going to take up a position of eminence in my CV ;). There was however not too much of snow up there. Blame it on global warming or perhaps we were about two weeks early. This was of course part of the famed 'Silk Route'. Nathula now serves as a passage to cross-border trade between the two countries. So, this is where all the cheap Chinese items come through. The road to Nathula was in a terrible condition. On the other side of the border, however, the road was awesome even comparable to some of our best highways- an indication that we just don't spend enough on infrastructure. 

While descending, we were stuck in a traffic jam (imagine that 14000 feet up). Cars had simply ceased to move. So, we came out of our vehicle and had a photo shoot with a beautiful backdrop. A descent of 1000 feet and we reached Baba Mandir, dedicated to a soldier who had drowned and then apparently reappeared in front of some of the soldiers of his regiment. Cafe 13000, situated here, made a lot of profit on this day because ten spendthrift people visited them.

Our next stop was Tchangu lake, where we did nothing more than dip our fingers in the freezing water. DD bought a cowboy hat from a nearby market. We could not go anywhere else as it gets really foggy in the evenings in the hills.

After dinner, we had a minor skirmish over where we would be going in the next two days after NP had sprained her ankle. Wiz was really interested in going to the monastries and learning about the village life of the local people after he had a chat with the bartender at the restaurant. SC hated Gangtok for no apparent reason, others were giving their own preferences while I recorded the entire 'fight'. There was this place called Yumthang where no one really wanted to go but there seemed to be no other place to visit. Darjeeling was discussed and then cancelled because of the Gorkhaland issue. Finally, a consensus was reached that we would travel in and around Gangtok the next day and decide on the future later. Talk about an unplanned trip!

Day 3

Places Visited: Jhakri Falls, Lingdum Monastery, Tashi View Point, Hanuman Tok Mandir.

Jhakri Falls was, in my view, the place we enjoyed ourselves the most during the entire trip. The usual photo sessions notwithstanding, we had a lot of fun near the waterfall (the water was really cold, mind you). We also had a go with the traditional attire of the region, those funny Pseudo-chinese suits looking good on some of us while the rest looked like jokers. Next, we visited Lingdum monastery, a very peaceful place with really friendly llamas. We got a nice insight into the lives of these devout followers of Buddha. What's more, I got to use their bathrooms, which were remarkably similar to the ones at our hostels. Tashi View Point had a beautiful view of Kanchenjunga and other peaks nearby.

We returned to Gangtok by sunset and spent the evening at M.G.Marg. And then out of the blue came the proposal from the girls that lets go to a disc.

Questions which cropped in my mind the moment I heard this: WHY? Did Gangtok even have a discotheque? Do these people want to get drunk? Is it safe here?

After quite some amount of deliberation, it was decided that we would actually go but no one would drink. We managed to book two cars to wait for us for our return to the hotel. I could tell that none of us were sure whether we were doing the right thing but went ahead anyway. We went inside unsure what to expect here and found a really really tiny dance floor and the air was suffocatingly smoky. Nevertheless, the girls wanted to dance so we joined them more as pseudo bouncers than anything else. There were also complementary drinks and we went for juices and cold drinks. However, DD passed a glass of whiskey to NP who almost drank it up.

  The curious incident of the white t-shirt

While all this was happening, a person wearing a white shirt asked Alwin, who incidentally was also wearing white, to join him. Alwin politely declined the offer but the other guy continued to pursue, disappointment ripe in his face at being refused. That was when another guy, incidentally in white too, came to Alwin's rescue. As it turned out, white indicated that you are gay and are looking for a partner, which explained the poor fellow's repeated insisence on a "date". The second guy in white was a "hero" for Alwin, whom he'll probably be indebted to for the rest of his life. ;)

I had thought that this would be the day I would remember as the day I had bath in the girls' bathroom, but after what happened in the disc, it is the day on which Alwin had a tryst with homosexuality.

Day 4

The morning was spent deciding on and convincing Wiz that we are going to Darjeeling, and we finally actually bid adieu to Gangtok and set off for Darjeeling. On our way, we had decided to go rafting, which was an awesome adventure. Although the rapids weren't really very dangerous, they did get our adrenaline running. The water splashing in your face, wetting your clothes, the sudden dives of the raft, the entire 8 km downstream ride made it one of the most memorable times. The joy was slightly marred when Alwin and Wiz jumped in to the water with the two cameras we had. 

Once out of the water we were all freezing and couldn't wait to get to Darjeeling but there was a shocker in store for us. Our SUV had broken down and would go no further. The driver was ready to return only Rs. 500, while the driver of the only other empty vehicle, a jeep, we had managed to find in that area demanded Rs.900. There was a huge row in the middle of nowhere and only when it started getting dark were we forced to submit. The jeep ride to Darjeeling was torcherous and everyone except me and DD had fallen asleep out of tiredness. 

At Darjeeling, we found that everything had already closed down because of the curfew-like situation there. We needed to find a bakery because the next day was Swat Cat's birthday and we were lucky to actually find one about to pull the shutters down. After this, we found a hotel and immediately settled down for the night.

  

Day 5

We woke up at 4 o' clock (not kidding at all) and set off for Tiger Hill. The sight of the sun's orange rays reflecting from Kanchenjunga was out of this world. We celebrated Swat's birthday here to the astonishment of some tourists with all the cake smearing on her face. Some firangees took our photos as well. And Su dropped his cell phone in a dirty drain. 

In Darjeeling we also visited Batasia Loop, Rock Garden, a tea garden and a monastery. 

This was the last day of our trip and we had to catch a train from NJP in the evening which meant our stay at Darjeeling was really short. Once on the train, we were told that the train had changed its route from that very day and would not be going to Burdwan at all. How can a train change its route??? Why did they issue us tickets to Burdwan then? Anyway, circumstances forced us to reach Kolkata and that meant all ten of us went to my home, had baths etc. before catching a train back to Dhanbad. In between, we had lunch at Pizza Hut where Swat gave her birthday treat. 

I guess I have over-wriiten a bit...

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Let me now delve into few of the interesting aspects of our trip, which had more to do with our madness than the places we visited.

 The Songs

Now, in between all these wonderful places that we visited, I also came to learn the hard way, the awesome memory girls have because of the sheer number of songs they know. The attack (if I may call it so) was relentless with one song starting before the previous one ends. There was no escaping it as these sessions happened in the car. I did not even know there existed so many songs and the ones that I did know a little bit about, the lyrics were beyond me. Man, they knew millions of songs entirely by heart. The Nishachar Prani mentioned earlier really came into her own in the evenings while she slept through most of our travels during the day, only waking up when we reached some destination. Wiz slept through most of these sessions while DD bore it bravely. Alwin was even more clueless than me (if that is possible), mainly because he is ashamed of speaking in Hindi. The male Su used to join in once in a while. After the first couple of days, I had the realisation that 'If you can't beat them, join them.' And I too started humming with the tunes, not entirely sure what the next word in the song really is.  

 The Photo Sessions

Our trip was also remarkable because we went around clicking anywhere and everywhere and unlike previous holidays that I have been to, this had more people than sceneries. At the end of it, I believe we had more than 1300 photos, well short of our planned mark of 2000 because of the rafting mishap. An interesting point to note here is that people enjoyed making horns behind each other's heads with their fingers. I am assuming here that they do not know the significance of the horns. So lets get enlightened. For starters, it has nothing to do with the devil. In fact, whenever we make the sign of horns behind a boy's head, we are unwittingly referring to their virility. This is why Vikings wore horned helmets and if I may add, it is also the source of the word 'horny' used so often today. I am not sure what it means when the same is done behind a girl though, which happened on many occassions too.

(N.B. The source of this fact is unreliable, but is true to the best of my knowledge.)

 G.S.T.= Time decided + 30 minutes (at least)

We boys also had first hand experience with what I now call the Girls' Standard Time. I, for one, had never been privy to this concept, but now I know what to expect and I arrange my daily schedules accordingly whenever there is something in which the fairer sex is involved. (For those rare females who are punctual, I salute you and request you to not take this to your heart.)

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THANK YOU

This truly was one of the most memorable trips that I have ever been on and its memories will be cherished forever.  I was initially unsure whether I would be compatible with the girls who went along because it one thing to know each other well, quite another to spend a week together. But, in hindsight, their presence made it all the more lively and enjoyable. Without them I don't think we would have gone to the disc nor ventured out for rafting.  A big THANK YOU to all the nine friends, who made it so remarkable that even three months down the line I keep going through all the photos of the trip every few days.  

A Day in Patna

That is where six of us were last Saturday. Now, you must be wondering what the hell I was doing in Patna of all places. That shall be recounted a bit later. We reached Patna station at around 5 a.m. After leaving the station, we were greeted with a sea of people moving in all directions. It kind of reminded me of Howrah Station, minus the size. Guess it’s the same in all major cities around the country, with the huge population that we have. Anyway, Hims was really under pressure and was about to shit in his pants when he (thankfully) found a ‘Sulabh Shauchalay’. While he was gone, Nilesh suddenly realised that he could not see anything. That was because he had left his newly acquired specs, which cost a fortune, in the train itself. Brilliant! And the train was about to leave for the next station. So he made a run for it, across the crowd, over the foot-bridge and to the platform where the train was still (luckily) standing. He returned five minutes later, his eyesight now restored. As they say, “Morning shows the day!” And this was one hell of a beginning of a day.

Next stop: Patna Medical College Hospital, where we met Dev. Now, the reason we went to Patna was because Dev’s father has been hospitalized and needed blood. I wish him a speedy recovery.   

Hims was like really freaking out because he is scared of syringes. We had a ball of a time chiding him for it.

Useless Observation 1: Cattle like cows and goats are huge in Patna, I mean larger than their normal size. I saw one cow there; it stood in the middle of the road and blocked all the traffic, which seemed to be mainly composed of autos, rickshaws and bicycles for some reason. I had never seen a cow of that size before. The same goes for a few goats we ran into. Guess there growth hormones really kicked in at the right time. 

                                      

Anyway, we went to the blood-bank section of the hospital and after some paper-work were ready to give blood. I was first in. The nurse asked all kinds of questions like have i had any disease like jaundice or malaria, whether I had taken any anti-biotics etc. etc. Finally assured that I was clean to give blood, I was asked to lie down on a bed after which I was poked with a syringe in my arm. And the blood was flowing- my precious blood. Meanwhile, Hims came into the room and went through the same process himself. Around five minutes later, they finally took away a pouchful of nice O+ve blood. The nurse asked me whether I was feeling fine.

                                             

Of course I was feeling fine. Best feeling in the world: satisfaction that I have done something nice. It was bliss. I could see golden sprinkles in front of my eyes and then everything went white- pure and untampered white. The feeling was awesome. I am guessing that this is what they mean when they say drug users are on a ‘high’. It felt like having attained ‘Nirvana’ or ‘Moksh’.

(I was later told that I had actually fainted for about half a minute till some water was sprinkled on my face. Guess the blood just stopped flowing to my brain)

Hims could not stop laughing and get his back on me. After all the leg pulling I had done for his fear of needles, it was I who had fainted. Ohh! The shame of it.

Ten minutes down the line, however, I felt absolutely fine, absolutely no problems. So we decided we would roam around Patna, and bid Dev and his family goodbye. Unfortunately, we could not find anything interesting at all. We finally ended up back at the station at 6 p.m. It was now my turn to use the ‘Sulabh Shauchalay’. They are precious jewels of the civilized world.

Useless Observation 2: The feeling was amazing when the pressure was relieved and I had emptied my bowels. It is difficult to believe that sex would be better than this. I hope it is.

We had a situation on our hands at about 8 p.m. Two among us had to catch a train from Gaya to Lucknow, while the rest of us were going to Dhanbad. It was around 8 that we learnt that the train to Lucknow had been cancelled because of some trouble. So, these two guys had to go through a lot of trouble and spend a fortune on getting tickets for another train from Patna to Lucknow. We finally departed Patna at around 11 p.m. with a few cherishable, but mostly forgettable experiences. To be honest, unless it is a necessity, I would not be going back there again.    

Durga Puja through my eyes

So, finally Durga Puja is over. Probably my best holidays since I joined college in terms of enjoyment. I did not take part in the actual ‘pujo’ part of it, though, for obvious reasons. I do not know if it was me or whether the crowd seemed to have dwindled in number compared to previous years. Another thing I noticed was that there were hardly any people (especially of my age group) who were not with someone from the opposite sex. Hmmm.

That made our group of the 2006-batch from school quite unique, when you consider that we were more than a dozen or so in number while roaming about and never less than five at any point of time, without a girl anywhere near us. No, we are not gay, at least most of us aren’t. Some people like to call themselves bachelors (BBC for the people directly involved). However, I am assured that towards the evenings, a large number of our group did betray us to spend time with their female friends. (Because of uncertainty, I shall not use the word girlfriend.) There is hope for us yet.

                                              

                                 The Pratima(idol) and interiors at Babubagan in South Kolkata.

We hopped from one pandal to another, most of which were impressive and innovative. They ‘were’ seriously good pieces of art/architecture with immaculate designs and delicate craftsmanship. The same is true for all the pratimas (idols). Dismantling the pandals and immersing the idols in the river of Hooghly at the end of it all seems like sacrilege, if you think about it. Imagine dismantling the Taj Mahal or the St. Peter’s Basilica, or throwing the ‘Statue of David’ or the ‘Mona Lisa’ into the ocean. Michelangelo or Da Vinci would not be too pleased by that, would they? Neither would they be as famous as they are now had that been the case. Imagine the kind of fame these artisans who make the Durga idols have got if their works were preserved.

An article on these lines was published a few days ago in TOI describing how the artisans need to be indifferent towards their own pieces of art. And the last time I heard, they weren’t rolling in cash either. That means they get neither the adequate amount of money nor the recognition they deserve for their work. Isn’t that grossly unfair on them?

I guess the whole thing culminates to our tradition that the idol must be immersed in the ‘holy’ waters of the Ganga. Besides the afore-mentioned loss to the artisans, it must be contributing immensely to the already grave water pollution scenario. After all, the paint used does contain lead and other toxic chemicals which are mixed with the river water after the immersion. Maybe it is time we have a re-think over whether our traditions are really worth following.

Lots of people may be up in arms over such a thought, but it does not take Einstein to figure out that such festivities at the end leave both the people and the environment poorer. In this respect, it was ironical that one particular pandal had chosen ‘Pollution Control’ as its theme for the pandal and lighting this year. I wonder whether they did anything substantial to control pollution themselves.

Photo Courtesy: Saurav Samaddar, Babubagan Sarbojaninn Durgotsav Committee

Overboard with Chips

I like chips, but this stall, near a puja pandal, just went overboard.

Musings during a Train Journey

Travelling alone by train is one of the most lonesome experiences possible. Had the misfortune of being at the receiving end of one such journey the other day, when I was returning home for puja vacations. As DD rightly put it, “When you travel alone by train, you get a first-hand experience of the fact that staying single is so boring.” Because of the ample amount of free time, I could contemplate about many things which I generally would not, and so I penned (or rather typed) them down.

                                         

The ‘common man’ in India is probably one of the most insensitive among all common men of the world. How can we be so indifferent towards what is going on around us?

We complain about the fact that the government does not do anything for us. “Chaaron taraf kitni gandagi hai.” You will hear this often, and yet it will be the very same people who litter the streets without thinking twice about it. Can’t they find a dustbin anywhere? They should take a leaf from Saffrondude’s book (read his post on Littering).

The huge population of the country, especially the large number of poor people is often decried. Yet, when a poor man tries to honestly earn some money, there is everyone trying to push him down. I was witness to one such occasion during this uneventful train journey. A vendor was selling ‘samosa and kachauri’ and charged six rupees a plate. Having eaten one plate myself, I must mention here that they were delicious. Yet, when it came to paying for it, a fellow passenger had a fight with the vendor over the price saying he would pay no more than five rupees. The man was well-dressed, flaunted an expensive mobile phone and looked like one whose troubles in life were mostly artificial. Surely, he had felt the pinch of inflation himself, or did he think that he was the only one to be affected by it and people like the vendor still enjoyed prices existing 10 years ago. Then what was it that drove him to engage in a war of words over ‘one rupee’, one tiny, useless, insignificant rupee; something which probably did not have any value for him but must surely have had meant something for the vendor.

To add to this particular passenger’s impudence, ten minutes after this incident he went to the door and had a smoke. “Surely, sir, your cigarette cost more than the one rupee you just robbed from that poor man.” I felt like slapping him, one because of the aforementioned incident and second because the smoke was irritating me. But then, I can’t go around slapping people. I couldn’t even muster enough courage to tell him that he was wrong. Why? I was just as likely to be shouted down as the poor vendor. Boy, do some people think they are the ‘centre of the universe’ or what?

This is more a generalization than an exception. While I accept that most people are not as insolent or uncouth as this person was, the indifference and insensitivity is there for all to see. How often is it that we see an accident on the road, and only a couple or so people rush to help while the rest watch it and then continue without looking back?

 “It is his/her problem; there are so many others here to look after them, what do I care?”

Someday, sir (or ma’am), you will find yourself in the same position and then there would probably be no one to help you out. Maybe, then you would realise that there are some things in this world called humanity, kindness and benevolence as well.  

Blind Date!!!

(After a lot of contemplation, I am posting this, two weeks after the actual incident. Please do not mind the delay. :-)

I went on a ‘blind’ date on my birthday. Unfortunately was ‘dumb and deaf’ too, so the two of us ended up not saying anything to each other. The presence of two other blind-daters on the same table was also annoying and completely baffled me. The whole point of going on a date was dismissed. It was boring to say the least. No offence meant to the other two people, but why didn’t you sit on another table? The whole place was empty. And why didn’t my date and I use my head as well? Guess I just go blank on dates as you will come to know if you read on (girls might think I am retarded). Mera kuch nahi ho sakta!

Random Observations Part I:

1. None of us spoke anything remotely close to what is expected to be spoken on a date. I may be wrong. The three more experienced people, who were sitting on the same table, please correct me if I am. Wait! Yeah, we did talk about how it all started with the actual people we are committed to. As you might have guessed by now, I had nothing to contribute on this topic. So I drank lots of water.
2. The food was terrible. Why can’t everyone eat non-veg?
3. On one occasion, the other three people sitting on the table were all playing with their respective glasses. I followed suit. Allan Pease, expert on body language, says “Fondling a Cylindrical Object” is a sign that one finds someone around him/her interesting. Now who found who interesting in a group of four is anybody’s guess. More on body language later.
4. There was some dispute over who is paying the bill. The other guy insisted that he pay and the girls insisted that they would pay half of it and put two hundred bucks on the table. A small skirmish was imminent. Someone (that’s me) saved the day by commenting that “table se paise hata do, nahi toh waiter tip samajh ke le jaayega”. That’s called managerial skill - calming down people and saving your money in the process.

Next in line was a trip to CCD where we ran into two more blind date couples. They looked like they had more fun than us, probably because they were alone with their respective dates.

Random Observations Part II:

1. After having had my a** kicked a few million times in the previous two days (birthday), I was thumped on the back by a girl who looks a lot like a teddy bear.
2. Allan Pease also says that “when a man/woman finds a person of the opposite sex interesting their foot/ knee points towards them. On this occasion, legs were pointed in all sorts of directions, so it was difficult to judge.
3. Each of the couples was asked to do something.

• The first sang ‘Pehla Nasha...’ and then smeared pizza on each other.
• The second and third did something I can’t remember.
• My date was asked to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. How silly! She had already done that. I was asked to sing something back. Couldn’t think of anything. Should have sang something romantic.
  Instead I sang: “Golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai...”, which is exactly what I felt at that moment.
  Then I was asked to feed chocolate to my date, which was easy.
  Ohh! The things people come up with.
  

4.I did not pay anything at any point of the ‘date’, which was good.
5.The auto-wallah took eighty rupees while returning, which I felt was too much.

Chronicles of the Library...

"... and the most happening place in the campus is - THE LIBRARY."
Well, it is true at this point of time at least. Everyone seems to be flocking there. So I too joined the crowd. I have been unaccustomed to the library environment for a few months now, so it took me some time to adjust. Yesterday, I actually spent five hours studying four pages there. Hence, I had decided that no matter what I would study like a 'dog' today. But, my mind had other ideas. Here is what happened in the one hour I actually sat there. (Imagine a conversation between ME and Me, like you know, when you talk to yourself, silently.)

ME: Shit! Everyone is studying like a dog!
Study! Study! Study!

'Seismic Data Acquisition is one stage of a multi-stage process known as
Seismic Surveying. Other stages include...'

(Ten Minutes later)

ME: There is too much noise here. Where is it coming from? (I look around.)
How the hell is the tube-light making noise? Isn't it supposed to give light
instead? Someone switch it off.

Me: Time to unleash the earphones. Block out the noise with some melody.

Song: "अरे यारों दोस्ती बड़ी ही हसीं है..."

ME: Yeah. Good Song.

'Modern Data Acquisition is basically Imaging of the Earth and consists of
the following steps...'

(Fifteen minutes down the line)

ME: Why do those two always sit together?

Me: Because they are a couple dumbo. You know, like love and stuff.

ME: Ohhh! But they aren't studying at all. Why sit in the library then? Taking up
precious seats.

Me: Who cares? You got one, didn't you?

ME: Yeah.

Song Changes:"वोह पहली बार जब हम मिले,
हाथों में हाथ जब हम चले..."

(And my mind starts wandering towards 'other' things.)

Me: Hello! Come back to Earth!
Concentrate! Concentrate! Change the song.

ME: Okay.

Song: On Sacred Ground (by Yanni)

Me: That is more like it. Now study.

'Single impulsive point sources cannot efficiently produce enough seismic
energy needed to image deeper targets well... ' (Studied for 15 minutes)

ME: This place is so crowded. All because of the country's population.

(And then, for some strange reason, I remembered a Biology period in Class X.
Sir was teaching about sex, contraceptives and stuff.)

SIR: "One of the reasons for the population explosion in rural areas is the fact
that in really remote places, people do not have access to any other source
of entertainment."

ME: Hmmm. We need a multiplex in Dhanbad. Pronto!

Me: Cut the crap! Study!

(Power Cut)

ME: Yessss!

(Power returns)

ME: Shit!

Me: Let's go back. You are wasting your time here.

ME: I agree.


(And back I came and wrote this piece of nonsense. I have exams from Monday!)

Grow Up Kid

“Familiarity breeds Contempt.”

This is what I have learnt the hard way in the last two weeks. The guilty party, of course, was me. I have hurt / disappointed two good friends because I had, perhaps, taken them for granted. I might have also shown a certain level of immaturity and insensitivity. I AM SORRY.

I don’t know why but thinking straight just seems like an impossible task nowadays. My mind, though not in turmoil, is scrambled and is meandering around. I need to focus at the task in hand and think of the consequences/effects before doing something. I NEED TO GROW UP.

On a lighter note, Saturday was my birthday which meant sitting down was the most challenging thing in the world. Something which may sound interesting happened on my birthday. I went on a ‘blind’ date, part of an entourage of four blind-date couples. I shall avoid the specifics.

Midnight Farce

I AM IN LOVE!!!

This is what everyone is hell bent on convincing me about, especially since the NOTTING HILL episode (which, mind you, has not reached its climax yet). First Saffrondude, then Ad Libber and then a train of people who picked up this idea from somewhere. On Independence Day, Mr. Procrastinator (alias Narcissist) asked me who my first ‘crush’ at ISM was. Then, the very next night AL came up with the same question, straight out of the blue, that too at 2.00 a.m.!

AL was recounting the events of yesterday on ‘Raksha Bandhan’ with his ‘mu boli behen’ and how they ran into three other ‘mu-boli bhai behen’ couples and what happened thereafter. But that will be relived some other day as it has nothing to do with the eccentric conversation which followed, and which lasted more than an hour.

Here are some excerpts:

AL (suddenly): Who was your first crush in ISM?

Me: WHAT???

AL: Have you had a crush in ISM? (has a goofy smile on his face)

Me: Yes (I surprised myself with that answer. YES? Why did I say yes?)

AL: You have? (His mouth ends up in a big ‘O’, obviously startled)

Who was it? (shouts it out)

Me: I am not telling.

AL: Why not?

Me: I don’t know. Just forget it.

AL: This is news. Come on, don’t be a jack-ass. Tell me who it is. I’ll not tell anyone.

Me: No.

AL(trying to emotionally blackmail me): I am your friend. You should share things with your friends.

Me: I’ve no problem sharing things, but these are thoughts and feelings.

AL: A**hole!

OK. There are 15 possibilities. No wait. Is it a senior?

Me: No.

AL: And obviously it cannot be a junior because you don’t know anyone. But then, you don’t need to know someone to have a crush.

Me (trying to take the conversation out of these dangerous waters): I like Speed of Sound by Coldplay (and I play the song).

AL: Don’t talk shit. Answer my questions.

Is it someone who is already committed?

Me: No comments.

AL: ‘No comments’ means yes.

Me: No, it does not.

AL: So, it’s a no.

Me: No comments.

AL: How many are committed now? Six as far as I know. So, that leaves nine. Wait. Come on, tell me, is she committed or not?

Me: No, I think. Well, I hope not.

AL: That means this crush is still there.

Me: No comments.

AL: F**k! You still have that crush. Have you ever spoken to her?

Me: Huh? How does that matter?

AL: It matters. Tell.

Me: Sort of eliminates half the list if I answer that. I won’t answer that.

AL: What the f**k? Give some clue, at least. (pesters me for about 10 minutes for a clue)

Me(giving in to his pestering): Her name ends with the letter ‘A’

AL: Ahh! Now we are talking.

(After about a minute’s contemplation bursts out): A**hole! Everyone’s name ends with ‘A’. Only 3 people’s does not. OK. At least it brings the list of probables down to six.

(Is silent for a while. Then again explodes): Tell me who it is. You should. This is bad. I am your friend.

Me: I am not telling.

AL(asks again): Just tell me this. Have you spoken to her or not?

Me: Nopes. I mean I am not telling.

AL(starts making a list of girls whom I have spoken to and ends up making an inaccurate one, thankfully): Which branch is she in?

Me: Will become too easy if I answer that.

AL: Is it MD?

Me: What? (surprised that that came up) What makes you think that it is so?

AL: Is it or not?

Me: (shaking my head) I am not telling anything else to you. Go to sleep. I got new pillow covers, need to use them.

AL: OK. Tell something about her.

Me: I need to know them to tell anything about them.

AL: Come on. Say something. What is the point hiding?

Me: Can you read body language?

AL: No. (Thank goodness. If he could, he would have got the answer by now.)

(after a pause): I am going to guess one name. You just say ‘yes’ if I am right. Nothing else. Deal?

Me: No way.

AL: You are useless. You know, if you tell me I can help you move things forward.

Me (almost tempted to give it away): NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Let it be.

AL: Is it crush or is it love?

Me: What is the difference?

AL: Crush is more a temporary phase.

Since when is this there? Since first year?

Me: Hmmm. I don’t know what it is. Forget it.

AL: Come on, man. Just let it out. Pleeease!

Me: Not telling.

AL: Fine! I am going. You wasted an hour of mine. F**K OFF!

Me: Yes. I did.

(and AL leaves)

It was around 3 a.m. when he finally left and I dozed off immediately. Readers of my blog, you are the best judge. If I was in love or had a crush, wouldn’t I be wide awake throughout the night thinking about her rather than sleep like a baby?

P.S. Any girl who has started imagining things, I ask you to please continue to do so. And if, in the unlikely event, you have a crush on me (which I cannot imagine WHY), please express it as you cannot expect the same from me.

Friends and Poli

Had a great time last Sunday. Friendship Day after all. These two friends decided the day was apt to give their birthday treats which were due for about 4 months. First lunch, then CCD and finally bought a pillow! Also found out that we were probably the most boring group of people. At least some of us are, people like me, DD and SU hardly had anything to say. To top it all, we were all recounting the most embarrassing moments of our lives and all of us spoke about incidents from the classrooms in our schools. Is that all our lives are made of?
Friends are great. I can’t live without them. They are there when you need them etc. etc. bla bla bla.

But what do you do when your friends turn out to be not as innocent as you had thought them to be? What do you do if you find that some of them are wolves in sheep’s clothing? The thought that your closest buddies can be the shrewdest foxes going around sends a chill down my spine to be frank.

It’s that time of the year when people are selected for the different posts, and as with most other institutes you have rivalry between different factions of the student community who are looking to go one up on the others. I just happened to overhear some of these conversations in the recent past. I cannot recount them but it confirmed to me that there is more to my friends than meets the eye and while I was oblivious to things around me these people were busy plotting and planning their next moves- which profs to approach, what strategy would the other party be playing, who are the different candidates for a given post and so on. From their words, it was also apparent that the female population was also involved to a large extent, something which I had not expected. SILLY ME! How is that possible when there are cries for gender equality all around?

Ohh! How I miss those days to return when you could trust all your friends blindly. Now, it is difficult to decide whom you can still call a friend and who is going to stab someone at the back (at least figuratively). Best of Luck, buddies! But, keep me away from this please.

P.S. This post does not attack any person, so any friend of mine reading this, please don't take it personally.

THE FINAL WORD

(Here is a piece written by DD. Both DD and me are members of Team MD. For background information, MD in this post stands for ‘Mailer Daemon’. It is the students’ newspaper of ISM University. The setting is of us taking interviews for a new team.)

A year has passed since I pushed myself into Team MD. And I have managed to stick to it till today. My colleagues in the team are aware of two kinds of Team MD members: one, those who are dedicated to it and work hard till the end. They ‘eat, dream and think MD’ while working on an issue. The second category belongs to those who were not able to cope up with the pressure and left MD for its and their good. Guess I am a third kind- a category still needed to be researched. (Right now, my colleagues are working on our last issue, while I am typing this article.)

But this article is not about ‘how I fared for MD’. So let us forget this part and let me tell you what is going on in MD right now. Right now, we are interviewing candidates for selecting a new team for MD. How I had waited for this moment since the day I was selected. Back then, I imagined this day as one in which I would scrutinize, analyze and cross-question each candidate so as to bring out the true successors of our team. Now, I amuse myself by watching my colleagues do the same. Just on the second day of the interviews, I found myself hardly uttering a word. (Don’t dream of an HR like me!) ‘My colleagues, try to recall, I was there sitting right beside you.’ I watched, as some anxious, some nervous and some energetic faces took the chair before me while Ishant from one end and Shreya from the other, hovered like vultures, ready to peck at every slip of their tounge. Among the remaining enthusiasts were Sid, Divir, Sukanya, Sukhi, Vijit and Avinash, ready to chip in their part whenever they got a chance. ‘The dedicated and sincere team MD.’ Meanwhile, ‘the Bad Boy of the team‘(that’s me) was busy planning this article and was randomly generating numbers to fill up his analysis sheet. I decided to go back in time and put myself in the interviewee’s position to analyze how I would have fared in the same test.

Interviewer (MD): Would you like to introduce yourself?

Me: (Actually no. My name is a bit too long and you would forget it, the moment I leave this room. My branch will sound alien to you and my hobby-reading books- is of no practical use to you. Anything I mention thereafter about myself will generate further cross questions- causing myself to land in trouble. It is most unwise to introduce myself. But will have to say :) Yes.

MD: Introduce yourself.

Me: I would blabber out the usual intro and add nothing extra, lest I provoke further questions. All this, I would say in a loud tone, with an accent so that you get irritated and leave me quickly.

MD: What do you want your role to be in MD?

Me: (Let me think. If I choose editor it means sitting at my comp, reading other’s articles, sometimes writing by myself. OK, I will manage that, others will most probably help. Reporting will mean running here and there, speaking to admin etc etc. That is too much work. Easy decision.) I want to take up an editor’s job.

I now realize that back then my decision to choose editor actually got me selected. I escaped the PI round, something -I now feel, I would never have qualified.

MD: Where is the campus administration building and the maintenance department?

Me: (Campus Administration has to be within the campus. That is one thing I am sure of. But Murphy’s Law states that: ‘the greatest myth about administration is that, it exists.’ That makes CA a mythical place. What the hell!) I don’t know where the CA is.

Of course, I know where the maintenance department is. It is right behind the workshop. I went there once in the first year to get my window’s glass fixed. I had broken it, made it drop right from the first floor. The complaint got registered, nothing happened thereafter.

MD: What are your likes and dislikes about ISMU?

Me: (I must be cautious about this question- a tricky one. These guys love to point out shortcomings about ISMU, be it students or the admin. So to impress them, I must do the same. The part about ‘likes’ is just a pitfall, I must avoid. I am a clever guy.)

I dislike the students of ISMU. They make too much fuss about everything. There is a breed in ISM which wastes a year discussing ‘why shouldn’t we give certificates of merit to our rivals?’And prior to this, they would plan out a strategy for a month to ‘reach to a particular high status so that they can discuss the previously mentioned question.’ There is another species which goes on claiming for ‘more space.’ Then there is another which spends most of their time in challenging this claim. There is a group that has decided that its life’s ambition is to see all the infrastructural developments that ISM is ever capable of within their four or five years of stay in ISMU. Also ISM must have an increased area and the net speed must build up every year-all this they must witness while they are here. Finally there is MD which compiles all of this into six pages and hands it back to them.

What do I like about ISMU? I like the students of ISMU. There is a breed which is hell-bent on making a mark at ISMU. They would go up to any extent to fulfil their ambition, while they are here at ISMU. Be it promoting their departmental identity, helping the poor, or inspiring entrepreneurial skills, they are always out at the forefront. They are warriors. Remember the shout when the trophy of Muqabla was brought home. Remember Mechathlon, remember Sparx. Those were the times when ISM shone like never before. Ask yourself, don’t they deserve a little more than what they are getting? Maybe they asked for coaches, maybe they asked for a little more departmental and admin cooperation. Shouldn’t an effort be made to grant these? Remember: ‘A college is known by its students.’ And finally there is MD, which is composed of heroes selected from this breed. (When shall the groups mentioned previously get merged with this breed? But I guess, they are one and the same. ‘A mere flip changes the face of the coin.’)

MD: Improvements for MD?

Me: MD. When was the last time I read the complete paper? I remember noticing bar graphs in one of the issues. Then once, there was an article about status of girls in ISM - written by girls of course. You generally expect such stuff from them. ‘Good (status) generally leads to the expectation of Better (status).’ Once again, there was a full page of ‘Ruby Survey’. But that article was not for me. I have stopped staring at them since the time they started staring at me as if they were looking at an ‘ascetic kid.’ No wonders there. I hardly speak, while in a group. Other than these, I hardly recall any other article. Therefore you must increase the frequency of MD so that people like me at least remember a bunch of articles to speak about.

The final question was usually based on a situation, where one had to interview an admin member usually. I having chosen editorship would have escaped this question. So let me tell you, that my colleagues pretended to be part of the admin and conducted a mock interview. From their act, the following things about the admin were clear:

• The admin is ready to come up with excuses at every mistake that is pointed out.
• The admin/G.Sec is ready to take up any action if ‘approached through a proper channel.’
• Everything is student’s fault. ‘No proper events are conducted because students don’t turn up.’(So no point conducting a better event.) ‘The sports complex need not be improved since the students won’t maintain it.’
• The Yahoo HR will never accept the existence of ISMU at least in this life.
• G.Sec will simply act as an interface between students and admin. He lacks the brains or guts to gather support and fight for a cause.

There were further inferences, but I don’t remember them right now.

There you go. I have spoken my heart out. I seldom do that. Judge for yourself whether I deserve to be in the MD team after giving such an interview. By the way do not mistake this for a BC article. Trivial BC is not my job. I am totally serious regarding all views expressed. Also if I am responsible for any hurt feelings upon reading this article. ‘Hate mails invited.’

(For more visit the MD website The site is under construction.)

Notting Hill

NOTTING HILL has taken over my life. I have watched the movie an unprecedented 13 times, YES 13 TIMES, in the last 5 days, and if I am not careful, it can easily become 14 within the next 2 hours. Quoting Saffrondude: ”This is ‘madness’ unlike anything I have seen or heard before.” You are probably thinking I need to see a psychiatrist. Maybe.

Let me take you through my state of mind in the last five days.

June 24, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:1

About 22:00 hours:
Just had my dinner. Opened my laptop and thought let’s watch a movie. Which movie should I watch now?
Shawshank Redemption? Naa, have watched it once this summer already.
How about The Illusionist? Don’t feel like.
Taare Zameen Par? Naa.
Exorcist? No Way.
NOTTING HILL? Ahhh…haven’t watched this for a while. (BIG MISTAKE!)

June 25, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

11:00 hours: Had a bath. What do I do now? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.
23:00 hours: No one is online. What do I do? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.

June 26, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

<-DITTO as previous day ->

June 27, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

11:00 hours: Had a bath. What do I do now? Let’s watch Notting Hill again.

17:00 hours: Need a LAN wire for hostel as old one is lost. Went to Chandni Chowk. Got lost. Finally found my way out of the maze of shops 1.5 hours later with thankfully a 5 metre long LAN wire.

20:00 hours: Had Dinner.

20:10 hours: It is Notting Hill time.

June 28, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:4…WHOA!

There is nothing more to say.

June 29, 2008 A.D. Notting Hill Viewings:2

09:00 hours: Yippeeeeee! Watched a movie that is not Notting Hill. Watched ‘Serial Mom’.
12:00 hours:
Sane me:” Common, think of something to do. There is more to life than a movie.”
Insane me: “And what a movie it is. I think I shall watch it again.”
Sane me: “No, you are not. You have had enough of this. Get a grip.”
Insane me: “Are you insane?”

Both fight and ohhh … Insane me wins… Notting Hill, here I come.

18:00 hours: Cousin has come. He wants to watch a movie. Oh no! Not again.

Well, that pretty much sums up what I have gone through in the last five days. Saffrondude, on hearing this, commented that I am in love!!!It is such a romantic movie, he says.Pretty heavy, coming from a guy who could not imagine me with a girlfriend 6 months ago (see older post on LOVE).

NOTTING HILL. It is a lovely movie. I can almost act it out now.
Well, I better go now. Don’t worry, I won’t watch Notting Hill now. EURO CUP finals is about to start. Ohhh… Notting Hill…..

P.S.1) Any help from anyone who claims to dig me out of this hole is welcome

P.S.2) Dear Reader, if you read this and do not comment, I shall pelt you with olives.

Random Observations of a Primate stuck in a tree in a sweltering Summer afternoon

The good thing about summer vacations is that they are so long (2 months for me), when you can learn something new and catch up with friends and relatives. The bad thing about them is they are so long, you get bored sitting at home or going to the same places over and over again. It is like you actually have too much of a good thing. Hell, it has only been 10 days or so, 50 more to go, I shall go mad by the end of it.

Some of my more enterprising friends and college-mates are doing projects. Some have even gone abroad for them. Good Luck to them, huh!!!

I have been acting as guide to two of them showing them around the city, you know the usual places- Victoria Memorial, Esplanade, Science City, Nicco Park, blah blah blah. Plans ahead :- Botanical Gardens, Eden Gardens for a match, Digha, Darjeeling, North-East India, Italy, Moon….I better stop. It seems they are doing more traveling than project-work. Suits me!

There are still others who have gone for industrial training for a first hand experience of how the job is done by the big shots, some enjoying it at exotic spots like Goa, others ruing it either because they have made a bad choice or due to plain bad luck have ended up at a crap place. My sympathy lies with them, and my advice that from next time “apna dimaag lagao, doosron ke baton pe mat jaao”. (It is meant for a couple of people, so if you are reading this, you will know I am talking to you. No hard feelings. :-)

Finally, there is the breed of procrastinators like me who decided: “WHAT THE HECK! ENJOY YOUR TIME AT HOME.” Mind you, I am not exactly partying away, I am getting some work done, only it seems to be lacking in direction at the moment. It involves Earthquakes!!! What else do you expect from a student of GEOPHYSICS?

Talking of enjoying, I am enjoying the regular storms (norwesters or kalbaisakhi as they call them) in the recent past. Too bad for the uprooted trees though. Got stuck in one of these when I was at Landmark yesterday with a couple of friends. So, we went back inside again.

Got my hands on two interesting books while I was there:

1. HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

2. HOW TO RUIN YOUR LOVE LIFE.

The inspirational author was Ben Stein.

Here are some excerpts from the CONTENTS pages of the books: (The one’s in bold are those which I especially liked)

First, "HOW TO RUIN YOUR LIFE"

• DON’T LEARN ANY USEFUL SKILLS
• CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
• KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL WISDOM
• TREAT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD TO YOU BADLY
• HANG OUT WITH THE WRONG CROWD
• USE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL FREELY
• KNOW THAT THE RULES OF REASONABLE, DECENT CONDUCT DO NOT APPLY TO YOU
• LIVE AS IF TRUTH IS RELATIVE- A DISTANT RELATIVE
• SHOW EVERYONE AROUND YOU THAT YOU ARE HOLIER THAN THOU

Once I had ruined my life, I went over to ruining my “LOVE LIFE”, which, of course, is non-existent.....as of now.

• REST ASSURED THAT YOU KNOW BETTER ABOUT EVERY SUBJECT THAN YOUR LOVER
• POINT OUT YOUR LOVER’S IMPERFECTIONS IN PUBLIC
• CARVE IT IN STONE: LOVE RELATIONSHIPS AREN’T PARTNERSHIPS, THEY ARE MASTER-SERVANT RELATIONSHIPS, AND YOU ARE THE MASTER (OR MISTRESS)
• REMEMBER THAT YOUR LOVER IS YOUR PUNCHING BAG
• PLAY PHONE GAMES- DON’T RETURN HIS/HER CALLS TO SHOW HOW COOL AND ALOOF YOU ARE
• DON’T EVER TELL YOUR LOVER “I LOVE YOU”
• ACT LIKE A BIG BABY ON DATES
• TAKE TOTAL POSSESSION OF YOUR LOVER’S HOME
• FLIRT WITH ANYONE AND EVERYONE- IN FRONT OF YOUR LOVER
• MAKE THE DECISION THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY FOR MONEY- AND DON’T LET LOVE ENTER THE EQUATION
• HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR LOVER’S BEST FRIEND OR ROOM-MATE, AND TRUST THAT HE/SHE WILL NEVER FIND OUT or EVEN CARE!
• GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOVER’S FAMILY BUSINESS
• BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART THAT THERE’S SOMEONE BETTER JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND TREAT YOUR CURRENT LOVER LIKE HE/SHE IS MERELY A TEMPORARY SUBSTITUTE FOR THE REAL THING
• WHEN THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL, START A FIGHT.

NOW THAT ALL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE ARE RUINED, I SHALL TAKE A LEAVE AND END IT HERE.….CIAO

LOVE!! WHAT'S THAT???

I am really tired after a nice get-together with my friends from school. Unfortunately, these get-togethers generally tend to be revolved around all of us running about after a spherical shaped object and trying to put it through a rectangular bar with our feet. I don’t see any point in it but enjoy it nevertheless. These get-togethers also give us the opportunity to catch up with what is going on in each other’s lives. Who’s been ditched by his girlfriend? Who has fallen in love? And who has someone trying to nick his gf?

I feel pretty left-out during these instances as my love life is as dry as the centre of the Atacama Desert in Chile. I had this friend of mine, Saffrondude (name changed for no particular reason) telling me that there are certain people whom he just cannot imagine with a girlfriend. The bad news is that I was on that list. The good news is that I was on that list but not at the top of it. Saffrondude, of course, put himself in that list too, so that is something comforting.

This brings me to all these ‘majnus’, who live in my hostel. Whenever I am on my way for my middle of the night trip to the bathroom, I inevitably come across someone or the other belonging to the above mentioned species. These guys will be on the phone for several hours on end. No wonder the cell-phone companies are rolling in cash. What on Earth can you possibly talk about for that much amount of time with a single person sitting hundreds of miles away? And this is not like a once-a- month or even once-a-week affair. It literally happens everyday; you have the same faces loitering the corridors, and even the bathroom with their phones stuck to their ears with a permanent sticking charm. How disconcerting, when you are trying to relieve your about to explode bladder to see a person oscillate from one wall to the other looking as if he is having the time of his life.

I happened to overhear one side of some of these conversations and they were really outrageous. One such friend of mine was saying to his girlfriend, “Aaj tumne kya khaya hai?” How the hell does it matter as long as she wasn’t starving to death? It’s not like he could do anything about it even if she was. Or maybe he’s worried about her losing the stunning figure she has because of which he fell for her in the first place. In either case, it sounds like a pretty stupid thing to talk about at any time let alone in the middle of the night on the phone.

Another friend of mine was overheard saying the following words to his gf : ”KAHAN HO?” The time was 4:00 a.m. Ahem!!!
Where do you expect anyone to be at 4:00 a.m. please? Yes, they may be in the pub or disc till late at night occasionally but certainly not till 4:00 a.m. And how do the girls put up with these questions? I have no idea. No wonder I am loveless.

I’m eagerly waiting for the day when I can proudly say “Kahan Ho?” in the middle of the night. But I fear that day might never come. WHY? Well, it seems to me that girls are impressed by such abysmally stupid statements (or questions) which I do not foresee myself ever uttering. Any girl reading this, please correct me if I’m wrong.

MICE MENACE

Remember those Tom and Jerry cartoons with Tom fruitlessly chasing Jerry around the house. I used to like Jerry till a few of his mates started ransacking my room. Man, these guys will eat anything or drink it for that matter. When was the last time you heard of mice who loved coconut oil? Well, they finished off (or rather drilled a hole through) an entire bottle of my roomie’s ‘parachute’ in August. My roomie is really concerned about his hair. No, not because the mice drank his hair-oil, but generally speaking. He has now got a hair-oil whose bottle is made of glass. Beat that Mr. Mouse. The mice living in the back wing ground-floor of TOPAZ Hostel (ISMU) are really health conscious. They ate up my roomie’s bournvita too. Now we have to deal with ‘really strong’ mice. Ahhh!

Wondering why everything seems to be happening to my roomie. Well, it is perhaps because I had very cleverly taken the top shelf for myself in the beginning of the year, but the mice have learnt a few acrobatics and are now seen walking stealthily on the wires near the ceiling of the corridor. Naturally, entering my shelf is now a piece of cake. And cakes are not the only thing they have eaten from my shelf. There is also bhujia and biscuits. The morons were considerate enough to leave a few pieces for me and I had a good mind to offer it to a senior whom I do not particularly like. I had to eventually throw all these goodies away for the dogs to eat.

I have a feeling the dogs and the mice have had a deal. They are the only mammals existing in our hostel besides us, if you ignore the occasional cow which manages its way in. The mice must have said, “You keep the cats away and we will make sure you have plenty of good things to eat.” As a matter of fact, I have never seen a cat in ISMU, even in my OPAL Hostel days. It must be a universal treaty. As the saying goes, “Your enemy’s enemy is your friend.”

Well, I am at home now for a whole ‘mouse-free’ month or so I hope. The above will make the mouse gods really angry who will submerge me in a large lake of molten cheese in a planet in the ‘vicinity of Betelguese’ (ala Douglas Adams).

An Enigma called GOD

Does god exist? If yes, who/what is he or (for political correctness) she? More importantly, why do we have to worship him? If god is in control, then what are we here for? Are we merely pawns in the hand of some puppet-master controlling the universe?

These are questions whose answers no person has been able to give me. People will state several instances of miracles performed, events which cannot be explained, and even the creation of the universe itself to prove the existence of god. These, I cannot personally accept or deny. There have been great men and women in history whom people have "idolized" (read Ram, Jesus and the like). I have nothing against these people for if the tales told about them are for real then they truly are great beings, whether human or ethereal is not for me to decide.

If we accept for a moment that god actually exists, the point still remains why do we worship the idols or pray to him in whatever manner the different religions choose to? If god is truly omnipresent and is in control of the situation everywhere, how would your prayer affect what many "learned" men say is pre-ordained? Why would god grant you that project if you are a businessman? Why would god give you more marks if you are in school? Why would god grant you whatever you have asked from him? The answer is he won't. You have to go out there and do it yourself. To those who say they gain a mental satisfaction, calmness and a sense of security from it, I say please continue. For others who seek returns, I think you are wasting your time and often your money as well.

Is god so conceited that you have to pray to him to get rewards for things which you do not deserve? And if you actually get those rewards, then that practically proves god is corrupt as well. Such a being is hardly someone who should be worshipped. I do not hold this opinion for I do not believe that god exists but am forced to infer the above on seeing the extravagant prayer ceremonies and rituals that are performed around me. Why do you require a priest to perform rituals? If you are so devout, won't your god listen to you? What are all the complicated ceremonies and verses for (referring purely to Hinduism)? Can't your god understand simple thoughts? It is baffling to see such large sections of society actually following these rituals. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that what is the point doing all this?

This blog is not so much about the existence of god as it is about all the lunacy associated with his worship. I sincerely hope, for the sake of millions of devotees that he exists, otherwise all their efforts will be in vain. As for me, I'll continue to rack my brains trying to figure out what exactly these people are trying to achieve.